In which I explain my sports mojo

I've written about this before, many years ago, but here's a refresher course for those of you who weren't reading then: I am a super duper lucky charm for a city's sports teams. Don't believe me?

In 1993, I moved to Tallahassee to attend FSU. They won the national championship. They played for the national championship four more times that decade, winning it again in 1999. I had moved away back then, and thus began a decade of awfulness.

The summer of 1995, I was back in Orlando (my hometown) working at Disney World for the summer, and the Orlando Magic made it to the NBA Finals in just their 5th year of existence. (They did get swept in the Finals, but I was only in Orlando for 2 short months so my lucky effect probably had not built up enough by then.)

In 1997, I moved to Boston for law school. The Red Sox were mediocre, the Patriots were mediocre, the Celtics were awful. It took a few years for it to kick in, but in 2002 the Patriots won their first of three Super Bowls championships in four years. In 2004 the Red Sox broke an 86 year curse on their way to 2 World Series championships in four years. And in 2008 the Celtics even won a championship, the culmination of a rebuilding that started while I was still there.

In fall of 2005 I moved to Georgia, just after the Atlanta Braves made the playoffs for the last of their amazing 14 year postseason streak. In February 2006 I formally moved to Atlanta, and slowly began switching my allegiances to Atlanta sports teams. The first to go was football, because I was really bothered by the Patriots' taping/cheating scandal. Then went basketball, because I liked the young, raw talent of the Hawks and their tremendous upside. But I'd been holding onto my Red Sox love, and had a really hard time giving it up. I had been through hell and bliss with my Sox, and I just wasn't sure I could root for any other team. Still, at the start of this season, I decided I had to do it. The Braves needed me, and I told everyone I was on board.

Needless to say, it's helping. The Braves just returned to the postseason for the first time since 2005 despite having the wheels nearly fall off due to numerous injuries to critical players. The Hawks have made it to the playoffs three years in a row, and should have a very good team this year again. The Falcons made the playoffs two years ago, broke the curse of never having back to back winning seasons with their 9-7 record last year (after Matt Ryan's injury), and look great this year--so great that they have become a very trendy sleeper Super Bowl pick. I have no idea when the championships will come, but within the next five years, I think any one of the Braves, Hawks or Falcons could win it all. Maybe all three.

When I moved to Atlanta in 2006, none of our major sports teams were in the postseason. The Braves were going into rebuilding mode, the Falcons were dealing with the Michael Vick saga, and the Hawks were still a young team that had been nothing to write home about for over a decade. Since then, all 3 have made the postseason at least once, and this year we should have all 3 in the postseason in the same year. Meanwhile, the Patriots have stopped winning Super Bowls, and the Red Sox failed to make the postseason this year. Boston's reign as supreme sports town is drawing to a close, while Atlanta's is just beginning.

You can all thank me later.

Cheaters Sometimes Win

As a diehard Red Sox fan, I was crushed to read yesterday that both Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz tested positive for banned substances in 2003. Manny wasn't all that surprising given his suspension this season, but Big Papi was a huge blow. Ortiz was the heart and soul of that 2004 team that broke the curse, and now everyone would assume it was fueled by the juice.

Jmac at Beyond the Trestle argues today that it's not really cheating if everyone's doing it. While I get the point he is trying to make, I still think it's despicable and worthy of punishment. I also think that trying to defend this behavior as "well, everyone was doing it" will only make Red Sox fans look like idiots willing to break that curse at any cost. It reminds me of this great Bill Simmons column that he wrote after Manny's bust back in May.

Yes, many of us who prayed we would see the curse broken in our lifetimes would probably gladly say, just like Bill's dad, "I'd do it again!"...even dirty. But we should hate ourselves for thinking that way. Really, does it matter that we "broke" the curse if we had to do it on the backs of guys who had career years under mysterious circumstances and who we now know were potentially still playing on the residue of 2003 juicing? If we found out that the entire team was playing with corked bats for the 2004 season, would we be OK with that too? Even though I love the New England Patriots and don't really believe they only won three Super Bowls because they taped other teams' signals, I still recognize that I can't defend that behavior to the rest of the league's fans. Similarly, I am not about to try and defend a juicer even if he happens to be my favorite current Red Sox player.

And as for the others who will now assert that the two Red Sox titles in this decade are now tainted, all Sox fans can do now is hope that enough information about other users comes out that EVERY title in the steriods era ends up tainted. Then, we can hopefully get baseball and its fans to recognize that we either have to accept that performance enhancing drugs are part of the game and have changed it forever, or get them to commit to cleaning up the game at any cost and start testing players religiously throughout the season. This crisis threatens to ruin not just the relief of Sox fans, but all of baseball if it continues on its present path.

Stealing Home

Before last night, it had been 15 years since a player had stolen home base at Fenway Park. Jacoby Ellsbury, too fast and too young to realize how nearly impossible it would be, had been joking with third base coach DelMarlo Hale for years that he wanted to try it. Last night, he did.



This is why the Red Sox will always be #1 in my heart. I had an amazing time at last night's Springsteen concert, but as soon as I saw this clip I wished I had been watching the game from an extremely expensive seat at Fenway. Stealing home against the Yankees...unbelievable.

The Derek Lowe Face

Now that the Braves have signed Derek Lowe to pitch in 2009, I think it's important that I educate the rest of Atlanta on the sad phenomenon that is the Derek Lowe Face. It is my sincere hope that you never see it, but you should know the warning signs of what to look for.

The Derek Lowe Face was first coined by ESPN.com's Bill Simmons (aka the Sports Guy) back in the 2001 Red Sox season when Lowe was the team's beleaguered closer. He introduced the concept thusly:

You can have your faulty field-goal kickers, your up-and-down goalies, your point guards who never seem to make that clutch 15-footer ... but for my money, nothing is worse than a shaky baseball closer. You become paralyzed by this constant feeling of dread; even when you're winning in the late innings, you can't enjoy the lead because you're too busy thinking to yourself, "Oh God, he's coming in."

In Lowe's case, you spend the ninth inning rooting for things to go smoothly for him ... and then something happens (a single or a walk), and you start searching for signs that he's OK, and he is OK, but maybe something else happens (a stolen base, a walk) and then ... BOOM!

He makes the face.

My buddy J-Bug calls it The Derek Lowe Face, a distant cousin to The Troy Aikman Face. Remember when Aikman would suffer a concussion, and TV cameras would catch him on the sidelines -- glassy-eyed, totally shellshocked -- and the Dallas trainers would literally shove 10 pounds of smelling salts in front of his nose, as Aikman stared out onto the field, undaunted, looking like he just saw Milton Berle naked? That was The Aikman Face.

The Derek Lowe Face is a little different. It's a frozen expression like The Aikman Face, only it's more anguished and tortured (imagine someone taking a dump and suddenly realizing that there's no toilet paper in the bathroom). And as soon as Lowe starts making that face, the umpires should halt the game and award it to whomever the Red Sox are playing. I have to admit, I'm haunted by The Derek Lowe Face.

I spend every one of his appearances saying to the TV, "Don't make it, don't make the face, stay cool, come on, stay with us, hang tough, kiddo." It never ends.

Or, as the Sons of Sam Horn Red Sox wiki puts it far more succinctly:

Perhaps unfairly, Derek Lowe has also gained recognition for the Derek Lowe Face (illustrated above). Displayed after some unfortunate pitching event, this show of pain and disgust is thought, by detractors, to presage some further bad pitching in the next few minutes.

If you are still unclear after the two descriptions above and the photograph I posted earlier, here is the best example of the Derek Lowe face I have ever seen:



Sadly, this phenomenon did not disappear after Lowe left the pressure-cooker of Boston. The Derek Lowe face has been spotted in Dodger stadium as well:



Of course, the good news is that even in a year when he frequently made the Derek Lowe face, Lowe also got to make this face:



...after he pitched lights out in Game 4 of the 2004 World Series to give the Red Sox the curse-breaking victory. So, perhaps this signing will bring good fortune to the hometown team. But you must always be vigilantly on the lookout for signs of the Derek Lowe Face. You never know when it may strike.

People Who Should be Unemployed in 2009

In honor of this great list from Gawker, which you really should read because it's quite funny and spot on (except for the part about people who watch Gossip Girl), here's my list of 10 people who I wish would end up jobless in the new year:

1. Sean Hannity: If 2008 proved anything, it is that firebreathing conservative ideologues like Hannity have lost their relevance. Nobody cares about them anymore except the fraction of people who never really liked the pressure of having to think for themselves. I guess that's why Hannity has now resorted to running stories about "Vampires Living Among Us," and why his spineless faux-liberal sparring partner Alan Colmes finally bought a fucking clue and left the show. If I had my way, Hannity would suffer a freak throat accident robbing him of his vocal chords, and we would all learn that, in fact, he has been functionally illiterate since the sixth grade. And then, he'd be unemployable. Bliss.

2. Lynn Westmoreland: It says a great deal about Georgia's 3rd District that when their Congressman could only name three of the Commandments he wanted posted in every courthouse, and when he called the first black Presidential candidate and his wife "uppity" and then proclaimed he didn't know that was a racist thing to say, and when he was one of just two House members to vote against the Emmett Till Bill intended to re-open cold murder cases involving racially-motivated killings from the civil rights era, and then criticized President Bush for signing it into law...after all that, on November 4th Westmoreland was still elected by 66% of the vote. No Republican in the House deserved the big pink slip more than Westmoreland (though Michelle Bachmann certainly gave him a run for his money), but somehow he's still got at least 2 more years on the federal payroll. I can only hope that he finally does something this year that causes the voters in his district to give him the boot in 2010, but for the life of me I can't imagine what else he could possibly do.

3. Andre Walker: Nobody did more to damage the political blogging community here in Georgia in 2008 than Walker, whose transgressions have already been thoroughly covered (and continue to be covered) ad nauseum elsewhere. To be fair, I don't really want to see him completely unemployed...I just want him to stop being hired by political campaigns or political parties. Why any Democrat actually pays him to work for their operation is beyond me anyhow, since Walker obviously harbors a secret longing to be a Republican and he also has the personal charisma of a turnip. These are not a winning combination in a Democratic political staffer. Maybe with the 2008 campaigns behind us, the politicos have finally gotten wise that this is not a good investment of their campaign funds? A girl can dream.

4. George W. Bush: Seriously, do I even need to write something here? Never in my life have I been so happy to see someone about to lose their job. Our long national nightmare is nearly over. Bush is not exactly the most scintillating speaker (particularly when he has to write his own material--assuming he actually does know how to do that) and has never been successful in any industry other than politics, so any person or company from this point forward who hires 43 to do anything more than show up, smile, and allow himself to be pelted with eggs and banana peels by an angry public seeking a scapegoat, needs to have their heads examined. Personally, I hope the crazy conspiracy theory rumors about Bush buying a compound in an extradition-treaty-free Latin American country to avoid war crimes prosecution are true, simply because I trust that media coverage of his post-administration comings and goings will be a lot harder to come by down in the jungle. Good bye and good riddance to you, Sir.

5. Roger Clemens and Barry Bonds: I have a special place deep in my hate-sack for Roger Clemens, same as I bestow upon any traitorous asshole who leaves the Red Sox for the Yankees. But both Clemens and Bonds have turned their historic greatness into something that makes every baseball fan shake their heads and wish we'd never heard their names. How can we trust anything if two of the most impressive careers ever in baseball were probably fueled by whatever you guys were letting someone shoot into your fat asses? But despite the not-so-tiny pile of evidence that chunks of their statswhore careers were fueled by 'roids and 'mones, Bonds says he still wants to play in 2009. Clemens has hopefully given up on that dream. You both deserve to spend the rest of your days signing cartons of baseballs to be sold on QVC for $5 a pop. Go away.

6. Brett Favre: After a good start to his 2008 NFL season with the Jets, it looked like Favre was going to redeem himself for the silly little tantrum he threw this summer after he decided to un-retire and asked the Packers to completely undo their roster rebuilding to suit his whims. Then, predictably, someone flipped Favre's switch from "throw touchdowns" to "throw interceptions," and the wheels came off. But even still, all I needed this guy to do was win one stinking game against the team that went 1-15 just last year, ONE STINKING GAME, so that the 11-5 Patriots could go to the playoffs. Could he do that one simple thing? Oh no, Favre had to lay a gigantic stinkbomb in his final effort, enough to not only injure himself and possibly end his career the old-fashioned way, but also enough to get his coach fired in the process. Watching this all go down, it hit me: I have Brett Favre to blame for this year's Super Bowl debacle too. All he had to do was beat the Giants in the NFC championship game back in January and go on to the predictable defeat against the Patriots juggernaut, but NOOOO...he had to throw an interception on his final possession and let the game get into overtime, where the Giants won on a field goal, and we know the rest. Ugh, I hate Brett Favre. I don't want to see him on my TV screen for at least a year.

7. John Edwards: I can't believe that in the last year I actually advocated for this guy to get a SCOTUS appointment. Was there a single bigger letdown in 2008 than John Edwards? Having an affair is so predictable and stupid to begin with, doing it during an election is even more boneheaded, but doing it while your wife is facing cancer that everyone knows will eventually kill her? And fathering a child with the crazy woman you start snogging? That's really stupid. But you know what's the dumbest of all? After news reports hit about the affair, and the love child, and all the rest of it...he went to visit the woman and the baby in a California hotel and managed to get photographed by the Enquirer holding the baby that he claimed wasn't his child. I mean, that's got to be the dumbest thing EVER for someone denying an affair and a love child, right? When I think about the incredible arrogance necessary for Edwards to run for President knowing he had a scandal timebomb waiting in the wings, I just get the shakes. The tinge of this scandal does ensure that Edwards won't end up as part of the Obama White House, and probably not employed anywhere else either. That's OK, don't cry for John Edwards, he has millions from his trial lawyer days to live off.

8. Jim Wooten: 2008 saw the AJC make huge cuts to its editorial staff, circulation, advertising, and everything else. The bloodbath forced out so many well known reporters, editorial writers, and, really, public resources at the paper that I don't even know where to start compiling a list of people who deserved the ax LESS than Wooten. Yet, he continues to trot along like a cockroach in a nuclear war. While I would certainly be sad to see the frequent My Morning Wooten feature bite the dust, it still boggles my mind that one of the least intellectually honest or interesting writers has beaten out so many more qualified contributors in this year's game of Survivor:AJC. Is he willing to work for free? Because otherwise, I don't know how the AJC justifies his continued drawing of a salary when they have obviously eliminated most of their copy editors (reading the paper on Christmas at my parents' house--who, by the way, will lose daily circulation in 2 weeks despite living only 75 miles from Atlanta--I was struck by all the typos and poor grammar I found) to save money. If there is any justice in the new year, Wooten will be given a buyout offer he literally cannot refuse.

9. Shirley Franklin: I secretly cackled when Mayor Franklin got passed over for Housing and Urban Development secretary in the Obama administration. Franklin had clearly been phoning it in on the mayoring thing since sometime in 2006, just waiting for the chance to finally get out of the budgetary hellhole she helped create. Everyone seemed to believe the HUD gig was hers for the taking, even though progressives made a stink about the teensy little part where she'd been quite possibly a disaster for public housing here in Atlanta. (Oops.) But, because sometimes this world is just, Franklin got passed over in favor of New York City's Housing Commissioner, who has actually done things to improve the city's housing and urban development. We only have one year of Franklin left here in Atlanta, but if the waning days of 2008 are any sign, it is gonna be rocky. Faced with a massive budget shortfall that she allowed to quietly build for years before sounding the alarm, Franklin has decided to ask for federal bailout money to fix the problem. Yeah, that's gonna work. This is one manager who needs to retire.

10. Heidi and Spencer: If you don't know who I am talking about, consider yourself lucky and stop reading now. I wish I could go back to the day before I'd ever heard of Heidi Montag or Spencer Pratt, too. I have never watched a single episode of The Hills, and I don't care to. But I do enjoy websites that make fun of celebrities, and yet on slow news days I end up subjected to the latest manufactured drama because Heidi and Spencer faked their wedding, or Heidi and Lauren are feuding, or Spencer might be gay, or what have you. These people have never done anything redeeming or noteworthy in their entire lives, and yet somehow they have duped the celebrity tabloids and blogs into covering their pathetic little staged comings and goings. As my friend in Boston, comedian DJ Hazard, used to say: "you cannot possibly fathom the immensity of the fuck I do not give." Please go away, or better yet, just get hit by a bus. Both of you.

Honorable Mentions: Rod Blagojevich, Paul Broun, Steve Spurrier, Sonny Perdue, the Dallas Cowboys, Ben Eason, Ann Coulter, Ralph Nader, Kathryn Jean Lopez, Justice John Roberts, Alberto Gonzales, the screenwriter for the 4th Indy film, and Jimbo Fisher.

Random Post-Christmas Babble

I've lost my blogging mojo. There's so much going on at this time of year, and yet so little that feels like it's worth writing about. But because I feel guilty when I go more than 5 days without posting, I figure I should give a little quick and dirty snapshot of the things bouncing around my addled brain.

* Despite the pronouncements from the family that this would be a low gift giving year due to the economy being in the shitter, I really did clean up quite nicely. I got some wonderful bath stuff, a buffet from Pottery Barn, a Kitchenaid stand mixer (finally! and I didn't even have to get engaged or married to get one, either!), a new wreath for my front door because my mom decided the current one is "sad," and a terrycloth loungewear set. I am also allegedly getting a 2 parent painting crew to finally finish the painting of my house. And finally, I got at least one of the intangible cosmic sort of things I was hoping for, and still have my fingers crossed on a couple others. Hopefully the universe will deliver on those too.

* We had three vegetarians at Christmas dinner this year, and you would think my mother was told that these people would die if they accidentally touched meat the way the news threw her into a state of confusion and panic. She could NOT figure out what to make for a Christmas dinner meal that would be appealing to vegetarians, and then suddenly she decided that as long as we had eighty-two types of vegetables on the table, she could serve ham AND turkey. The vegetarians brought a quiche with fake tofu ham in it, and all was well. But the week of menu planning with my mom before she just decided to make every vegetable in the known universe, that was not fun to be a part of.

* We have this new stupid Christmas tradition here in the office that I'm very unhappy about. The new head of our department brought in a little stuffed elf doll that is supposed to "do mischief" to people's offices. Basically, whoever gets hit by the elf is supposed to pick another target and mess up their workspace somehow. Predictably in a place filled with soulless lawyers, this has been taken to serious extremes already. Last week saw one poor secretary's workspace blocked off with boxes floor to cieling, behind which there was tape 12 feet across in all directions from her filing cabinets to her desk to the walls of her cubicle. It took her several hours to undo the damage.

Despite my prounoucement that I found this whole thing stupid, some brave soul decided to mess up my office in the elf's name sometime before I got here on Friday. We're supposed to send a cheery little email to the group about how Paul the elf messed with our space, but I refused. Instead, I fixed everything he'd messed up, took the elf to another associate's office, and took every piece of paper on his desk and stacked it on top of his bookshelf. That was enough. There was no taping, no crazy decorating, no fire hazardry. And this associate has not sent a cheery little email about the elf's mischief, either. I think hopefully people by now have realized that a) Christmas is over and b) this idea was pretty dumb to begin with.

Bah Humbug. (Yeah, they say I should be more positive at work. What of it?!)

* Pray for my friend Jen, who is going to the dentist for the first time in years tomorrow because she has a serious tooth issue. She's very nervous, and she will need the support. I sent her to my dentist, who you may remember treated me mostly OK when I showed up there after nearly 9 years without a dental visit back in 2006. It helped that they gave me Nitrous, and then Valium when I didn't like the Nitrous. I told Jen to ask for both!

* I have absolutely zero plans for New Year's Eve as of right now, though I must say that the event at the Graveyard with a burlesque striptease that Tessa wrote about certainly sounds like it has potential. Or, there's always the incomparable Francine Reed at Blind Willie's, if I want to pay $50 for a reserved table seat. (Probably not.) I am not someone who feels the need to have crazy New Year's plans every year, and in fact I have not particularly enjoyed some of the more memorably over-the-top planned events I went to in years past. But still, I want to do SOMETHING to ring in the new year. (Other than watch a certain wedding webcast...)

* So maybe it's because we were drunk, or maybe it's because we were reminiscing about the geeky former life in which we both met, but Jen and I had a hilarious conversation just before Christmas about....bacon. We were talking about the problem with earthy crunchy people--the type who always eat healthy, do outdoorsy shit and are environmentally responsible (you know who you are--and I prounounced that I do not trust anyone who does not eat bacon. And I meant it! Seriously, bacon is one of life's great unexpected pleasures, and anyone who does not recognize its innate wonderfulness is suspect in my book. Fine, eat turkey bacon if you must, but do so with the recognition that you are attempting to compromise between bacon-y goodness and your earthy crunchy ways.

Along similar lines, I proclaimed on Christmas Eve (again a little drunkenly) that "mayonnaise makes everything better." You might expect to see a new blog dedicated to these concepts in the near future, as soon as Jen and I get off our asses and make it look like an actual blog.

* I can feel the natural progression of my sports allegiances to Atlanta teams occurring now, particularly as the Falcons and Hawks are actually pretty good this year. (Braves are going to need to work harder to win me over from the Red Sox.) You may recall that I have a pretty solid record of bringing sports championships to my city, and yes I do take all the credit for it. I've now been in Atlanta for 3 years, so it's about time for things to start turning around. I believe in Matty Ice! And I would totally have his babies.

* Congratulations to Jen and Tony, who in just 2 short days will be tying the knot in Vegas on New Year's Eve. I can honestly say this will be the first wedding ceremony I will have watched over the internet, but somehow it all makes sense. Have a great time, and best wishes for a wonderful life together.

See, thinking and talking about those two taking the big leap snapped me right out of my curmudgeonliness from earlier in this post. If that isn't a sign of real inspiration, I don't know what is.

Random

I don't have the mental clarity or time for mutiple blog posts, so some tidbits bouncing around my brain to tide folks over:

* Troy Davis dies in a week. I really want to go to protest outside the execution, but I don't know if I will be able to get out of town in time. If not, I will sit on my front step that night and light a candle, and pray. I encourage all who find the decision to execute this man without full consideration of the grounds for his appeal to do the same.

* Tonight I am going with a group of folks to try Taverna Plaka. I haven't had greek food in ages, so I'm very excited! Review forthcoming as soon as I find the time.

* This weekend, I'm going to the FSU-Virginia Tech game. Considering that we lost the Miami game I went to last year, and the 3 home games I went to the year before that, I am a little apprehensive about whether I might be jinxing the team. However, I bought new gear to wear in the hope of exorcising the old demons.

* My darling Red Sox are out of the playoffs, but they really overachieved in making it to game 7 of the ALCS given the injuries they were struggling with. Now I have to root for the Tampa Bay (Devil) Rays, since I grew up in central FL. However, I suspect most Braves fans would be rooting against them because if the Rays win they will have eclipsed the Braves' "worst to first" record in 1991...when the Braves lost in the World Series.

* Pretty much everything I watch on TV these days is disappointing and doesn't seem worth the time. Grey's Anatomy sucks, True Blood is cheesy and porny (and badly written), Project Runway was a mere shell of its former self in this last season on Bravo, I lost interest in Fringe after 2 episodes, I couldn't get back into watching the Sarah Connor Chronicles or Pushing Daisies, and Heroes is clearly in the category of one-season wonders previously occupied by Friday Night Lights. Even Gossip Girl isn't as good this time around. Are there any shows that are lighting up your TV screens that I should be watching? (Excepting those on Showtime, which I don't have.)

* This weekend, I attempted Operation Convince the Family to Vote for Obama. It didn't go so well. My grandparents aren't going to vote at all (which is better than a vote for McCain, I guess), and my parents are both so afraid of Democrats having unfettered control of government that they won't be swayed. At least that is their reasoning, rather than fear of a secret Muslim or focus on his alleged relationship with William Ayers. But still, Habersham county is apparently McCain country.

* I bought Mario Kart last weekend for my Wii, and I can't stop playing it. The race that takes place in a shopping mall is so incredibly hard, I want to kill myself every time I try it. But I keep trying it anyway.

* Work is busy, but busy is good. Even though the tension in these parts is pretty thick right about now. Everyone's waiting for the other shoe of the financial crisis to drop, and wondering if it will fall on them. Not the greatest of environments in which to spend my days.

* The election cannot get here fast enough. I am officially sick of it, and ready for Obama to just WIN ALREADY.

Allow me to get a little misty

3 years ago, I had the distinct pleasure of taking my Dad to the Red Sox home opener at Fenway. This was special not just because it was the home opener, but because for the first time in 86 years we got to see the raising of a World Champions banner at Fenway Park. In front of the Yankees. Even though it was a very cold early April day and my poor Floridian father couldn't get warm no matter how many fleeces and sweatshirts he piled on, it was still an amazing day. Seeing all the Sox old-timers come out to be part of the ceremony, particularly the guys like Johnny Pesky who were so beloved but could never get to the highest hurdle, get rings was a truly special moment for me. Most of us cried when Pesky finally got his ring and the entire park erupted in thunderous applause and cheers.

There was one thing missing, though. Absolution for the scapegoats would have put the perfect cap on the nearly 9 decades of wandering through the baseball wilderness wondering what we had ever done to deserve such torture. There was no Bill Buckner at Fenway that day. As the pre-game ceremony began, footgage of all the Sox greats was shown on the big screen over Fenway but Buckner was not there to see it. News stories at the time indicated he was still bitter, hurt and angry that he had been subjected to the scorn and condemnation of all of New England for 17 long years, all for one brief moment in baseball history. Surely Buckner had blamed himself for that error more than anyone else could possibly understand, but he could not forgive the unforgiving harshness of Red Sox Nation. On some level, I understood exactly how he felt.

Yesterday, Bill Buckner returned to Fenway Park for the Red Sox's second championship ceremony home opener. He threw out the first pitch and received a standing ovation. He was there to see that the curse and all of its remnants were buried forever. He is scapegoat no more. And the moment clearly moved him and all who were present to witness it:






I made a decision last week about baseball. I have been a Red Sox fan since moving to Boston in 1997 and I still love the Sox and always will. But it's time for me to fully commit to the Braves. The Sox don't need my help anymore, they have won two championships in 4 years. I'll still always root for my beloved Red Sox, because once you have known both the pain and the joy that is being a Sox fan it becomes simply impossible to take it out of you. But I think it's time for a Braves resurgence, and I'll be hopefully here to watch it happen. I'm reddedicating the vaunted Sara championship team mojo down south. Y'all can thank me later.

(Yesterday's entire pregame championship ceremony gallery is here.)

Question for the baseball boys

A few months ago, Griftdrift, Jmac and others got into an argument in the comments of this post over who was the best pitcher of our generation. More than one person argued that Roger Clemens was the only possible choice.

So, I want to ask the boys....is that assertion affected by yesterday's revelation that Clemens was probably juicing for much of his baseball career? Discuss.

He's making a list, checking it twice (updated)

Ah, screw it. Now that the official report is out, it appears there is considerable divergence between the actual Mitchell report and the list "obtained" by WNBC earlier today. Most of the Red Sox players listed on the latter are not on the official report, including the one I wrote about. The Red Sox are mentioned often throughout the report, though the only player who it appears was arguably using performance enhancing substances while playing for the team was Manny Alexander. I found it interesting that on more than one occasion, Red Sox scout emails regarding steroid rumors in deciding whether to trade for a player were included. Most notably, the very frank assessment by Theo Epstein and his scout that Eric Gagne lacked mental toughness and durability will probably not go over real well with many...

But, anyhow, the player that I wrote about earlier and have long suspected was juicing, Nomar Garciaparra, is not on the Mitchell report list that I can see. Neither is Trot Nixon, Johnny Damon, or Jason Varitek. Was it a Yankee plot by NYC TV station WNBC (the original source of the list) to call into question the Red Sox's two World Series wins, or was it a Red Sox plot to convince Mitchell, on their board of directors, to remove references to current and former Sox stars from the report? You be the judge.

I'm taking down the previous post because it was based on information that has been discredited and I'm legally gun-shy and therefore bound to make the correction.

To paraphrase the Hunt for Red October

"You mean to tell me you've lost ANOTHER winning World Series ball?!"

Yes, that's right. The Red Sox, the same team that had to buy off first baseman Doug Mientkiewicz after he absconded with the ball that broke the 86 year curse by putting it in his wife's purse, cannot find the ball played in the final out of Sunday night's World Series victory. Jason Varitek put it in his back pocket, then he says he gave it to Papelbon. Papelbon's agent says he doesn't have it. And now nobody knows where the damned ball is.

You'd think the team would have been more careful this time with this sort of thing after the 2004 debacle, but you'd apparently be wrong.

Last Red Sox post, I promise

...at least for 2007.

I love Bill Simmons. His articles about the 2003 and 2004 playoffs are so incredibly perfect in every way, so exactly crystallize the horror and shock and joy of those two years, that I sometimes just go back and read them just because I have to remember those experiences all over again. And his article today about last night's win contains this section that I simply have to quote, in its entirety, because it's just so perfect and because if you are a Red Sox fan who is still a little confused about how this whole not feeling cursed thing works, then you will understand it completely:

I promised my daughter there would be a payoff at the end -- that somebody on Colorado would make an out, that the Red Sox players would jump on each other and celebrate, that there would be dancing and hugging and everyone would be really happy. She understands absolutes (words like "happy" and "dancing" and "hugging") and understood something special was about to happen, but she had never heard the word "celebrate" before." She liked the way it sounded, so she kept saying it. Celebrate. Every time something happened in the last two innings -- a strikeout, a groundball, whatever -- she'd ask me why they didn't celebrate and I had to keep telling her, "No, you'll know when they're celebrating, I'll tell you when."

Eventually, she started watching me to play off my reactions. When Jamey Carroll cranked that one-out, 0-2 fastball in the ninth, for a split-second, like every other Sox fan who had abandoned their anti-jinxing rituals, I thought I had screwed everything up and screamed, "Noooooooo!" before Ellsbury hauled in the catch and she asked me what happened.

"That guy almost screwed it up," I told her.

"Oh." She thought about it for a second. "They're not going to celebrate?"

"No, no, they're about to celebrate," I told her.

We moved to the edge of the bed. I was sitting down; she was standing between my knees and leaning against me. Paps uncorked a 2-2 fastball for the clinching strike ("Yesssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!"), whipped his glove in the air and flipped out like he always does. If there's an enduring image of this 2007 Red Sox team, it's the sight of a wild-eyed Papelbon waving Varitek towards him for a postgame embrace -- he always looks like some drunken Boston kid who just sucker-punched somebody in a bar and wants the fallen guy's buddies to run over for a full-scale brawl. COME ON!!! LET'S DO THIS!!! Once Varitek jumped into his arms, the entire Boston team mobbed them within seconds, and everyone eventually settled on jumping up and down in a delirious circle. A few seconds passed before my daughter finally turned to me with a big smile on her face.

"They're celebrating," she told me happily.

I don't know how I got here.

When they turn on you

...New Yorkers really turn on you.

Rudy Giuliani appears to have lost the collective faith of the state of New York, even after playing the role of savior and MAN IN CHARGE after 9/11. What caused this sudden ugly breakup?

He dared root for the hated rival Boston Red Sox in the World Series.

I can't say that I blame New Yorkers. If the Yankees had won the ALCS in 2004 and John Kerry had said he was rooting for them in the WS because they're an AL team, someone in Boston would've beat his ass. Not just said nasty things about him in the local paper...actually BEAT HIS ASS. The hatred for the ultimate rival is inviolate, and willingness to waffle on it even for an instant is sacrilege.

Via Blog for Democracy.

There are no words

I can't put into words just how happy I am to see my beloved Red Sox win (I can't believe I'm about to type this word) another World Series.

I just can't describe it. I thought it wouldn't get to me on an emotional level like 2004 did, but I saw Jason Varitek and Jonathan Papelbon crying and I started bawling too.

As amazing as 2004 was, this team is pretty freaking special too. Two cancer survivors, one of whom (John Lester) won the title-clinching game and the other (Mike Lowell) was named World Series MVP. Jacoby Ellsbury, Kevin Youkilis, Dustin Pedroia. This team has plenty of likely heroes, so much came from the rookies and unknowns.

Congratulations, Boston. I'll be there in a few weeks to toast the team and the win, and to walk by Fenway Park and wish desperately that I could be there for a game. You will always be my first love of a city.

LOVE THAT DIRTY WATER!

Living the Dream

A year after unexpectedly being diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, Jon Lester will almost certainly start Game 4 of the World Series. (Only scenario in which he would not is if the Sox are facing elimination, in which case I expect we'd see Beckett on short rest.)

I'm so happy for Lester. I'm sure a year ago as he was facing down his own mortality he would never in his wildest dreams have believed this tremendous opportunity was in front of him. Stories like this warm the cockles of my mostly coal-esque heart.

Quote of the Day, unlikely heroes edition

I will never be more surprised than I was when J.D. hit that grand slam. If Reese Witherspoon released a porn video with Julia Stiles and the Quaker Oats guy, I would not be more surprised than I was when J.D. Drew got that hit. Maybe Michael Moore will break the marathon record ... and I will be half as surprised as I was when J.D. went deep.

Email Sam P. from Statesline, Nev. to ESPN SportsGuy Bill Simmons regarding Red Sox right fielder J.D. Drew's ALCS game 6 grand slam.

Now that's a promotion

Boston area chain retailer Jordan's Furniture had an interesting promotion during spring of this year: anything that customers bought would be free if the Red Sox won the 2007 World Series. The promotion was so popular that the store took over 30,000 orders during the period, and now stands to owe its customers millions if the Red Sox prevail over the Rockies in the next two weeks. Some dumb insurance company agreed to sell the company a policy to cover the payouts in the event the Red Sox won it all, and now you have to wonder just how bad that company is sweating these games. Think they're above paying someone to poison Josh Beckett before tomorrow night?

It's almost unfair

While Red Sox backs were against the wall after they went down 3-1 in the ALCS vs. Cleveland, I had a deliciously arrogant thought. We had Beckett in game 5, who has been so good in the playoffs that he's almost a guaranteed win. And if we staved off elimination there, we'd have Curt Schilling in game 6. Schilling, he of bloody sock fame, was eminently hittable in game 2, but if there is one thing we know about Schilling it's that he will be insanely good when elimination is on the line. Or, as Terry Francona put it about the 2004 ALCS "bloody sock" game, it's almost unfair:

"I mean, even dating back to the sock, and remember the soap opera watching him throw in the bullpen and having doctors and trainers out there, and he really shouldn't have pitched. And I can't remember one moment ever thinking he wouldn't pitch, and not only that, but that he wouldn't win. And it probably wasn't fair."

So my deliciously arrogant thought was that I knew even with the three losses that we were headed for a game 7. Even as everyone else wailed and gnashed teeth about the possibility of an early exit, I could see a very easy way for us to still be in this thing. Maybe it's the result of 2004's improbable resurrection when down 0-3 to the Yankees. Or maybe it's overconfidence. (Maybe it's that bet I made...again.)

I may be wrong and have to come back and eat some crow, but I doubt it. See you for game 7, Cleveland.

The end of an era

Joe Torre told the Yankees to take this job and shove it after receiving an offer for a 1 year deal at 2/3 of his prior salary. I can't believe there will be no more Joe Torre in the most hated dugout. If the people running that show actually believe the blame for their failure to make the World Series since 2003 lies with Torre, and not with their mismanagement of the team roster, they are truly delusional. Torre was about the best thing they had going for them all these years. This Yankee squad, the most expensive in baseball by far and laden with superstars, looked dead to rights for the first half of the season. Why? Because you can't throw together a mishmash of aged and infirm primadonna superstars and expect them to congeal into a team that plays well together. You can't have all the big bats in baseball but decrepit pitching and get it done. And you can't gut your farm system for years and then buy young pitching talent.

Now either Don Mattingly or Joe Girardi gets to prove just how good Torre was by doing an even worse job of managing the dream lineup stable minus pitching next year. That is, if most of the all-stars whose contracts are up don't opt to play elsewhere. After the first time in years that the Yankees didn't win the AL East, could we actually see a year that they don't even make the playoffs? If not for an improbable second half in which they won an astounding percentage of their games, the Yankees would have missed the playoffs altogether this year. It was probably Torre who pushed them over that threshhold and got them to push themselves so hard. I don't see a manager in his rookie season having more success than Torre would have.

Meanwhile, some other team is going to snatch up Torre so fast it will make Yankee heads spin, and it will be a very sound investment.

Playoff petrified

I suppose I should have expected that it wouldn't be easy, the two best teams in baseball going up against each other. Even though the Red Sox won home field advantage by virtue of their record against the Indians, the teams did tie for best record in the major leagues. Cleveland is clearly a formidable opponent. But somewhere along the way to sweeping the Angels, the team I was most worried about in the entire playoff field, I allowed overconfidence to get the better of me. Then we crushed the Indians in game 1 and I really was off the reality rails. Game 2 was a slugfest until former Red Sox Trot Nixon made us look stupid in the 11th innning, but they still won in our park and that means the Red Sox have lost home field advantage and are officially in a jam.

What if the swarms of crazy bugs hit every single night at Jacobs Field? I'm pretty sure Diasuke Matsuzaka is having nightmares about that very thought as I write this. Fenway's a great place to play but the Sox won't be back there until Thursday and by then we could be in a very deep hole. Sure, it's one that we have extricated ourselves from before (and worse) but I don't like playing underdog. Especially not when the Rockies appear poised to sweep their series, thereby guaranteeing whoever comes out of the ALCS a date with thin air.

Boston looked good in the ALDS but this is the same team that nearly collapsed and gave up the division to the Yankees in the final weeks. This is the same team that has a ridiculously shaky bullpen (Eric Gagne, I'm looking at you!) and some injury issues in both the lineup and starting rotation. This is a team that can be great and can be atrocious.

This is a team that doesn't look right now like it will win the World Series. I hope I'm wrong, but there it is.