Truer words were never spoken

Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.

--Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Something for us all to remember on this day of reflection on the legacy of a great man taken from us too soon. We had made such tremendous progress a year ago, as I was in D.C. preparing to witness the inauguration of Barack Obama as the President of the United States. But the last year has been a difficult and painful one, and some of the underlying ugliness was revealed to have merely been covered over for awhile, rather than truly healed. Progress is always a struggle, and as Dr. King once said, "the solution to one problem brings us face to face with another problem." But still we have to keep fighting, pushing forward, working to leave the old bad ideas and their proponents behind us in the dust.

I will promise to keep working for change if you will.

Grading Myself

I have a group of friends who I have been posting with on various forms of social media since 2001. (First we were on messageboards, then we were moved to something that tried to be like myspace plus messageboards, then about 18 months ago we moved to Facebook.) Every year, we make our new year's resolutions and then in the following December we review our list to assess our progress. Sometimes one of the people in this group will remind us that we've been resolving every year since 20o7 to leave that job or lose those 25 pounds, which makes the annual resolution review particularly painful. Not that I speak from experience or anything.

So yesterday, someone suggested our annual resolution review and I immediately felt sick over the annual recriminations after realizing I have still made no progress on my list. But then when I went and found my blog post on the topic, I realized I kind of DID make some progress on several of them, and that was a pretty cool realization. Here's my list for the past year:

1. Resolve my job situation on my own terms.
If by "resolve," I meant "realize I am stuck here until the economy turns, and make the best of it," or perhaps just "don't get fired in the worst economic disaster of my generation," then yes. I resolved. But I am still in the same job I have had since January 2006. So, you do the math.

2. Become more frugal, in order to save money for a new mortgage.
I saved over $10K in the past year, and did get a new mortgage. I also blew all those savings on home renovations that currently carry a pricetag of almost $20K, and climbing. Oh joy. But yay, I finally got that mortgage, and the crushing debt load that comes with it! (Sometimes, adult milestones don't make you feel like you thought they would.)

3. Cook dinner more often at home, and eat healthier.
I barely cooked at home at all this year, but I did manage to follow Weight Watchers for 6 months and lose 20 pounds. (I've undone 6 pounds of that in the last 3 months though, and need desperately to get back on the program in 2 weeks when the holidays are behind us.

4. Cut caffeine from my daily diet.
Oh this is just too funny. I think I reduced my intake for like a month before I gave up. In fairness, I did say it would be the hardest one on the list to stick with. I think it was when I started dieting in earnest that I realized trying to quit caffeine while trying to quit every delicious food in the world is like the single most masochistic thing I could have attempted.

5. Begin exercising regularly, including attempting to start running on a regular basis by the end of the year.
In March I started working out on a regular basis and by May I was working out 5 nights a week on a treadmill. I even managed to do several long distances of 9 or 10 miles at a time, without dying. But then I stopped because I got sick in September, and then work became unbearably busy. I also never graduated to running. But, I am resolving to get back on the horse in the new year on this one. And by horse, I mean treadmill.

6. Remove as much stress from my life as possible.
Ha! What a fool I was.

7. FINALLY finish decorating this house--just need 2 rooms painted, and possibly a new desk in the guest room.
Or, y'know, I could decide instead to completely renovate the outside of the house and make zero progress indoors. The closest I got to progress on this front was having new light fixtures installed in my kitchen, and picking paint colors for my bedroom. BUT, I hope to finally get that painting actually done in 2010. Maybe.

8. Spend more time with family, since my grandparents are here now and both rapidly approaching 90.
This went well for the first half of the year when work was slow, and badly for the second half once I got super busy at work. Sunday dinners are hard to make it to when you work every Sunday. My grandpa is declining fairly steadily, though, so I really do need to make more time to be around him while I still have the chance. He turns 90 in January.

9. Focus on my writing, and really push myself to take the time for quality over filler.
Yeah, not so much. I had a couple decent blog posts this year, perhaps ones I will even assemble into a top 10 list if I find 10 I am at least halfway proud of. But for the most part, this year was slow on the writing front. I resolve to do better next year. (She said, as she wrote a blog post that could arguably be deemed "filler.")

10. Do something big and out of character. Details to come.
So, now that I didn't do it after all, I can reveal that my plan was to run a half marathon on Thanksgiving day. That obviously didn't happen, nor will I be running the March half marathon at Disney World that I was thinking of trying. However, I do want to try and complete a half marathon at some point, so I am going to try and carry this one over to the new year as well. But I did do something fairly out of character this year, and it was scary as hell: I went to Biloxi by myself and played in a poker tournament. I nearly got hives just thinking about doing it, but I'm glad I did. Even if I lost a lot of money and came away having yet again underperformed against the big boys.

Despite what this list might indicate, 2009 was a big year for me in several ways. As I look back, I'm pleased with where I've traveled to and hopeful that 2010 will be a year of even more change. I'll be thinking about my resolutions for 2010 in the next few weeks (several of them will be virtually identical, of course), but for now I think I give my progress in 2009 a B-. But of course, I resolve to do better next year, too.

Tell me about your Christmas list

I am at a total loss in the gift-giving department this year. I just cannot figure out what any of my friends or family want or need, and since I'm unlikely to have much time to shop I need to come up with some ideas in a hurry. Unless people give me some good suggestions, virtually everyone on my Christmas list is getting a sweater, a bottle of wine, cologne/perfume, or a Snuggie. Seriously, I wish I were kidding but that's what has been purchased so far and what I think I am stuck with.

As a little quid pro quo for you sharing your wish list with me, I'll share mine with you in case you are similarly at a loss for gift ideas:

1. A Blu-ray disc player: preferably the kind that also can download movies etc. via wi-fi, because seriously, how cool is that?

2. Lolita Lempicka perfume: I wear this constantly. I got 2 bottles of it for my birthday a few years ago and I have just about used them up!

3. A dutch oven: the Le Creuset ridiculously expensive cast iron kind, not the one where you fart in my bed and pull the covers over my head, in case anyone was thinking this one sounded way too easy.

4. Gift card for a massage at a spa: always a good idea for the women in your life.

5. An FSU flag to fly outside my house: now that the team is back on the right track to its former perennial glory, I want to proudly display my allegiance in front of my soon-to-be garnet and gold house

I could probably come up with a few more, but those are the first 5 things that spring to mind. Of course, I would also be thrilled with a sweater or a bottle of wine (or tequila), because I am simple like that.

Obsessive Hostess strikes again

I'm having a Fourth of July cookout, and the amount of work and cooking to be done is starting to bear down hard upon me. I have decided on the following menu:

Appetizers:
Vegetable tray with dill dip
mini lobster rolls
bacon wrapped dates stuffed with bleu cheese
chips with salsa, guacamole and queso

Mains:
Burgers (of many varieties)
Hot Dogs
Grilled Chicken Breasts

Sides:
My should-be-famous potato salad
Pasta Salad with zucchini, tomato and feta
Grilled vegetables and corn
fresh cut fruit

Desserts:
Lemon cupcakes
Strawberry shortcakes

Drinks:
Sangria
Beer
Water and sodas

So, um, yeah. It's a lot of food. I still need to shop, and then tomorrow I will spend the whole day cooking. The beauty of this menu is that it can ALL be prepared in advance, except for the things that need to be grilled the day of the cookout.

The far bigger issue is that hosting parties makes me suddenly hyper-aware of all the things I meant to fix up in my house but never got around to. I meant to finish paining the living room, and to paint my bedroom, and to paint over that water damage spot on the cieling, but I never did. Now I am trying to calculate...can I get all those done tomorrow? (No, and I shouldn't even try. But I still might.)

I also have let my deck languish this year, and haven't bothered to clean it or set it up properly at all. I have a basement full of cutesy things to decorate the deck with for a party, but the thought of actually putting all of that together and making it look nice is so exhausting. So, I cajoled my parents into coming and helping me with that part. Nothing like free labor!

Once the actual cookout comes, I will feel the wash of a sense of accomplishment, but until then it is nothing but worry. I worry that 36 people still have not RSVPed and so I have no idea how much to cook. I worry that my house is small and if somehow 40 people show up, where will I put them all? I worry it will be insanely hot and my air conditioner will crap out again. All of these things are, sadly, eminently possible.

I also am trying to figure out where would be the best spot to go to watch fireworks near my house. I am surrounded by several massive multi-story trees, so I doubt we could see much from my deck. However, I am less than a mile from Piedmont Park, which should have a good view of several fireworks shows. Anyone know any other good spots relatively close to Virginia-Highland where I can take my merry band of friends for a good ooh ahhh view of fireworks? Let me know in the comments.

Many wonder why I take on this sort of thing when it carries this much stress, and it's hard to explain but the truth is that I do love it. I love having an excuse to cook for other people, and to see them enjoy a great meal that I prepared. I love bringing friends from a variety of circles together and watching them have a good time. I love playing hostess, even though I try too hard to make everything perfect. It may not appear like it as I worry and work, but I live for this sort of thing. I promise.

New Year's Resolutions

These are going to look surprisingly similar to the resolutions of damn near everyone, but I figured I should put pen to paper (or finger to keyboard, as it were) in the hope that it will shame me into making progress on these:

1. Resolve my job situation on my own terms.

2. Become more frugal, in order to save money for a new mortgage.

3. Cook dinner more often at home, and eat healthier.

4. Cut caffeine from my daily diet. (This one will be the hardest thing on the list.)

5. Begin exercising regularly, including attempting to start running on a regular basis by the end of the year.

6. Remove as much stress from my life as possible.

7. FINALLY finish decorating this house--just need 2 rooms painted, and possibly a new desk in the guest room.

8. Spend more time with family, since my grandparents are here now and both rapidly approaching 90.

9. Focus on my writing, and really push myself to take the time for quality over filler.

10. Do something big and out of character. Details to come.

Random Post-Christmas Babble

I've lost my blogging mojo. There's so much going on at this time of year, and yet so little that feels like it's worth writing about. But because I feel guilty when I go more than 5 days without posting, I figure I should give a little quick and dirty snapshot of the things bouncing around my addled brain.

* Despite the pronouncements from the family that this would be a low gift giving year due to the economy being in the shitter, I really did clean up quite nicely. I got some wonderful bath stuff, a buffet from Pottery Barn, a Kitchenaid stand mixer (finally! and I didn't even have to get engaged or married to get one, either!), a new wreath for my front door because my mom decided the current one is "sad," and a terrycloth loungewear set. I am also allegedly getting a 2 parent painting crew to finally finish the painting of my house. And finally, I got at least one of the intangible cosmic sort of things I was hoping for, and still have my fingers crossed on a couple others. Hopefully the universe will deliver on those too.

* We had three vegetarians at Christmas dinner this year, and you would think my mother was told that these people would die if they accidentally touched meat the way the news threw her into a state of confusion and panic. She could NOT figure out what to make for a Christmas dinner meal that would be appealing to vegetarians, and then suddenly she decided that as long as we had eighty-two types of vegetables on the table, she could serve ham AND turkey. The vegetarians brought a quiche with fake tofu ham in it, and all was well. But the week of menu planning with my mom before she just decided to make every vegetable in the known universe, that was not fun to be a part of.

* We have this new stupid Christmas tradition here in the office that I'm very unhappy about. The new head of our department brought in a little stuffed elf doll that is supposed to "do mischief" to people's offices. Basically, whoever gets hit by the elf is supposed to pick another target and mess up their workspace somehow. Predictably in a place filled with soulless lawyers, this has been taken to serious extremes already. Last week saw one poor secretary's workspace blocked off with boxes floor to cieling, behind which there was tape 12 feet across in all directions from her filing cabinets to her desk to the walls of her cubicle. It took her several hours to undo the damage.

Despite my prounoucement that I found this whole thing stupid, some brave soul decided to mess up my office in the elf's name sometime before I got here on Friday. We're supposed to send a cheery little email to the group about how Paul the elf messed with our space, but I refused. Instead, I fixed everything he'd messed up, took the elf to another associate's office, and took every piece of paper on his desk and stacked it on top of his bookshelf. That was enough. There was no taping, no crazy decorating, no fire hazardry. And this associate has not sent a cheery little email about the elf's mischief, either. I think hopefully people by now have realized that a) Christmas is over and b) this idea was pretty dumb to begin with.

Bah Humbug. (Yeah, they say I should be more positive at work. What of it?!)

* Pray for my friend Jen, who is going to the dentist for the first time in years tomorrow because she has a serious tooth issue. She's very nervous, and she will need the support. I sent her to my dentist, who you may remember treated me mostly OK when I showed up there after nearly 9 years without a dental visit back in 2006. It helped that they gave me Nitrous, and then Valium when I didn't like the Nitrous. I told Jen to ask for both!

* I have absolutely zero plans for New Year's Eve as of right now, though I must say that the event at the Graveyard with a burlesque striptease that Tessa wrote about certainly sounds like it has potential. Or, there's always the incomparable Francine Reed at Blind Willie's, if I want to pay $50 for a reserved table seat. (Probably not.) I am not someone who feels the need to have crazy New Year's plans every year, and in fact I have not particularly enjoyed some of the more memorably over-the-top planned events I went to in years past. But still, I want to do SOMETHING to ring in the new year. (Other than watch a certain wedding webcast...)

* So maybe it's because we were drunk, or maybe it's because we were reminiscing about the geeky former life in which we both met, but Jen and I had a hilarious conversation just before Christmas about....bacon. We were talking about the problem with earthy crunchy people--the type who always eat healthy, do outdoorsy shit and are environmentally responsible (you know who you are--and I prounounced that I do not trust anyone who does not eat bacon. And I meant it! Seriously, bacon is one of life's great unexpected pleasures, and anyone who does not recognize its innate wonderfulness is suspect in my book. Fine, eat turkey bacon if you must, but do so with the recognition that you are attempting to compromise between bacon-y goodness and your earthy crunchy ways.

Along similar lines, I proclaimed on Christmas Eve (again a little drunkenly) that "mayonnaise makes everything better." You might expect to see a new blog dedicated to these concepts in the near future, as soon as Jen and I get off our asses and make it look like an actual blog.

* I can feel the natural progression of my sports allegiances to Atlanta teams occurring now, particularly as the Falcons and Hawks are actually pretty good this year. (Braves are going to need to work harder to win me over from the Red Sox.) You may recall that I have a pretty solid record of bringing sports championships to my city, and yes I do take all the credit for it. I've now been in Atlanta for 3 years, so it's about time for things to start turning around. I believe in Matty Ice! And I would totally have his babies.

* Congratulations to Jen and Tony, who in just 2 short days will be tying the knot in Vegas on New Year's Eve. I can honestly say this will be the first wedding ceremony I will have watched over the internet, but somehow it all makes sense. Have a great time, and best wishes for a wonderful life together.

See, thinking and talking about those two taking the big leap snapped me right out of my curmudgeonliness from earlier in this post. If that isn't a sign of real inspiration, I don't know what is.

Gift Help

The annual wringing of hands over gifts for my secretary and the rest of the business staff is upon us. In the last year I've changed secretaries, and the one I have now is extremely difficult to buy for. Let me paint the scene, just so you will know who we are dealing with (and I should say at the outset that she is fantastic at her job):


Significantly overweight, set to have gastric bypass surgery in spring/summer of next year
Diagnosed with diabetes in the last year (so can't drink alcohol or eat sweets)
Would probably self-describe as redneck, of the former Arkansas/current North Cobb variety
Is a grandmother twice-over, even though she is in her early forties
Does nothing but work, work, work and take care of the grandbabies (who she is raising)


Just trust me when I say that this is not a woman who would enjoy flowers, or jewelry, or scented bath products. She is not someone who would ever use a day at the spa or a gift card to a store like Banana Republic or Ann Taylor.

What do I get this woman for Christmas? I hate the idea of giving cash, and I already exhausted the mall gift card option for her birthday. I also don't want to give her something that is so practical it is likely to be used not for herself, but for her family for whom she is primary breadwinner.

All suggestions appreciated.

Randomness

I have a lot of stuff going on in my life and in my friends' lives right now, but none of it is really safe to publicly blog about. Hence the virtual silence around here of late. So, in no particular order, here's some random stuff bouncing around in my empty head:

* I have to decide whether to go to the trouble and expense of getting a Christmas tree this year. I had one in 2006, but did not buy one last year and didn't really miss it all that much. I still have a million ornaments that match perfectly and look beautiful, but do I really want to take the hours upon hours it will require to decorate the tree, only to worry about the cat knocking it over? (Yes, that has happened before. Many times.) I've been in kind of a bad mood lately because of the aforementioned unbloggable stuff, so maybe a forced infusion of Christmas spirit would help. Or maybe it would just make me homicidal and poorer. You tell me.

* Speaking of my lack of Christmas spirit, which I struggle with every year, I tried to make a Christmas list the other day and just failed miserably. There are so many things I'd like for Christmas (a new job!...oops, did I say that out loud?) but precious few that I can actually provide to friends and family trying to decide what to get me as a gift. What I really want from my friends is their companionship, support, and happiness in the coming year. That goes a lot longer than any gift. And for my family, I want prosperity and health. It feels really lame saying "oh yeah, and a Kitchenaid Artisan mixer and cashmere gloves" at the end of a list of such far more important concerns.

* Sometimes, I can be a real pain in the ass. Even when I might be right. I need to remember that.

* I can't decide whether to have a holiday party, a Super Bowl party, both, or neither. I haven't had a party at my house in almost 2 years, since a falling out between some close friends that has made me wary of holding any event to which I would want to invite both. But the hostess bug is hitting me hard, and making me want to bring new people together from the many friends I have made in the last 2 years, and the holidays seem like a natural time to do that. I also always love an excuse to craft a menu and cook far too much food for people.

However, I also worry that everyone is booked up with other holiday parties already and wouldn't be able to come anyway. Decisions, decisions. So, readers...tell me. Are you already booked for every weekend day between now and Dec 25th? If so, the Super Bowl is a really easy, natural time to have a party and my last one was a success. I will almost certainly try that again this year, especially since my Pats won't even be sniffing the playoffs this year from the looks of things.

* Speaking of football, I am so impressed with the way the Falcons are beating expectations that I am thinking I need to start going to more professional sporting events here in town. The Falcons are pretty good, the Hawks are pretty good, hockey is fun even when your team sucks, and the Braves at least have the chance of being decent. Yet, our sports teams are among the lowest attended in the professional leagues. It's time for those of us who enjoy watching and rooting for these teams to start showing our appreciation by putting butts in seats. Who's with me?

* But my college team, that's one that is not getting my butt in a seat for at least another 9 months, if ever. I haven't blogged about the woeful experience that was the Florida-Florida State game because I don't know if I can ever put into words just how much it sucked. We got our asses kicked by our arch rivals, it poured rain on us for much of the game (and for virtually our entire drive to Tallahassee & back), and my phone got wet and shorted out even though it was in my purse the whole time. SUCKED. My seething anger at Bobby & Co. might be blogged someday, but not today.

* Saturday night, after I was in a mood and needed something cathartic, I went to see the incomparable Francine Reed at Blind Willie's blues club. Oh Lord, was it what I needed. If you have never seen Ms. Reed live and in person, you owe it to yourself to check her out. Here's a video of her doing my favorite song she performs, Ida Cox's "Wild Women Don't Get the Blues."



And with that, I guess I better just get wild and crazy, because I really can't stand to have the blues anymore.

To give thanks

This morning it hit me like a ton of bricks: in seven weeks, Barack Obama will be President. Somehow in all of the excitement and drama over the election, the historic win, and the announcements of cabinet appointments, I'd lost sight of the amazingly hopeful and optimistic decision our country made on November 4th. I am so thankful that we as a country did not take the cynical way out, relying on prejudice and fear to guide us to a bad decision.

In these trying times fraught with worry and challenges, I think it's more important than ever to remind ourselves of all that we have to be thankful for. Here's a brief list of what I am keeping close to my heart as I head into the holiday, other than our incoming President:

1. I still have a job that pays me inordinately well. I know there are many who cannot say that now, and I fear every day that I will soon be among them. But for now, I can pay all of my bills, save money, even help out friends and family who might need it. That is a wonderful thing.

2. My parents and I are all healthy. Minor annoyances about colds and flus aside, none of us have had any major health problems recently. My grandfather went through a scare and a hospitalization earlier this year, but after getting a pacemaker he appears to be doing just fine. My aunt Grace lost her father early this year, and she just learned that her mother's kidney cancer had spread to her lungs before she had her kidney removed in September. They are deciding now whether she will have chemo & radiation, or let it run its course. Watching Grace deal with the challenges she has experienced with her parents this year makes me so thankful to have my parents still with me and doing well. I know many others wish they could say the same.

3. So many friends having babies this year! A friend in Boston had a baby girl last week, a friend here in Atlanta had a baby girl earlier this month, and another friend in Boston had a baby girl in May. Another friend is due to give birth in just a few weeks. (I also had a friend who lost twins early in a pregnancy a few months ago, and that was devastating.) So, I am very thankful for the wonderful babies that my friends are bringing into this world and thankful for the healthy pregnancies.

4. I am thankful for my friends. Despite all the drama and turmoil I go through, I always know that there are some very important people in my life who will be there for me whenever I need them. They have given me more than I could ever repay them for, and I hope to have them in my life for a long, long time. Those of you on this list know who you are, and I am so thankful that I met each of you. I hope none of you ever leave my life.

5. I am thankful that so many people I know poured their heart, soul, sweat and tears into this election. I respect the hell out of the people I know who were delegates, who knocked on doors and phone banked, who went on bus tours and to pancake breakfasts, who covered the election relentlessly on blogs and brought to light the stories nobody else was telling. The folks at Blog for Democracy, in particular, did all of these things in a year when nobody really expected major political change here in Georgia. But they were undeterred, and the Presidential election was closer than anyone imagined, while Jim Martin made it into a runoff and has at least a fighting chance of unseating Saxby Chambliss. Even if we didn't turn Georgia blue (yet), I am so thankful that there are still people willing to fight tooth and nail to work towards that goal someday. You make my cold cynical heart swell with pride to know such optimism and ambition.