Undefeated!

So, I've been gone for awhile but I had a really good reason. I just returned from a monthlong trial in Houston...my first jury trial. And we won. I can't really post about the trial itself, as much as I might want to, but I can say that I learned a great deal.

One of the most important things I learned is what really matters, based on what you can and cannot live without for an extended period of time. I've read or watched almost zero news or sports over the last few months, and I haven't missed it. I haven't watched a single moment of television except for the Indy 500 since sometime in March. I slept very little. I felt at times completely out of touch with what was going on in the world. And it was very disorienting, but I could live without those things if I needed to, because it was important.

What I could not live without, even though I had to try, was the love and support of my friends and family, the people who really matter to me. Being out of touch from them was nearly physically painful, so much so that I jumped at an opportunity to run home for a quick weekend to spend with those I really care about. It was glorious, and it kept me sane. And now that I'm back, I still haven't gone grocery shopping, done laundry, restocked my fridge or my bathroom cabinets, or anything essential like that. Instead I've spent 2 days being around the people I missed so much, and will continue to do so for much of this week. I am home, in every sense of the word, and it's what I craved and felt so deprived of for the past month of trial and even the weeks leading up to it.

The greatest lesson I learned is to appreciate and revel in that wonderful feeling of being home with those I love, because it's the one thing that I will desperately long for when I don't have it. I'm looking forward to not knowing that feeling again for a good long while.

Grading Myself

I have a group of friends who I have been posting with on various forms of social media since 2001. (First we were on messageboards, then we were moved to something that tried to be like myspace plus messageboards, then about 18 months ago we moved to Facebook.) Every year, we make our new year's resolutions and then in the following December we review our list to assess our progress. Sometimes one of the people in this group will remind us that we've been resolving every year since 20o7 to leave that job or lose those 25 pounds, which makes the annual resolution review particularly painful. Not that I speak from experience or anything.

So yesterday, someone suggested our annual resolution review and I immediately felt sick over the annual recriminations after realizing I have still made no progress on my list. But then when I went and found my blog post on the topic, I realized I kind of DID make some progress on several of them, and that was a pretty cool realization. Here's my list for the past year:

1. Resolve my job situation on my own terms.
If by "resolve," I meant "realize I am stuck here until the economy turns, and make the best of it," or perhaps just "don't get fired in the worst economic disaster of my generation," then yes. I resolved. But I am still in the same job I have had since January 2006. So, you do the math.

2. Become more frugal, in order to save money for a new mortgage.
I saved over $10K in the past year, and did get a new mortgage. I also blew all those savings on home renovations that currently carry a pricetag of almost $20K, and climbing. Oh joy. But yay, I finally got that mortgage, and the crushing debt load that comes with it! (Sometimes, adult milestones don't make you feel like you thought they would.)

3. Cook dinner more often at home, and eat healthier.
I barely cooked at home at all this year, but I did manage to follow Weight Watchers for 6 months and lose 20 pounds. (I've undone 6 pounds of that in the last 3 months though, and need desperately to get back on the program in 2 weeks when the holidays are behind us.

4. Cut caffeine from my daily diet.
Oh this is just too funny. I think I reduced my intake for like a month before I gave up. In fairness, I did say it would be the hardest one on the list to stick with. I think it was when I started dieting in earnest that I realized trying to quit caffeine while trying to quit every delicious food in the world is like the single most masochistic thing I could have attempted.

5. Begin exercising regularly, including attempting to start running on a regular basis by the end of the year.
In March I started working out on a regular basis and by May I was working out 5 nights a week on a treadmill. I even managed to do several long distances of 9 or 10 miles at a time, without dying. But then I stopped because I got sick in September, and then work became unbearably busy. I also never graduated to running. But, I am resolving to get back on the horse in the new year on this one. And by horse, I mean treadmill.

6. Remove as much stress from my life as possible.
Ha! What a fool I was.

7. FINALLY finish decorating this house--just need 2 rooms painted, and possibly a new desk in the guest room.
Or, y'know, I could decide instead to completely renovate the outside of the house and make zero progress indoors. The closest I got to progress on this front was having new light fixtures installed in my kitchen, and picking paint colors for my bedroom. BUT, I hope to finally get that painting actually done in 2010. Maybe.

8. Spend more time with family, since my grandparents are here now and both rapidly approaching 90.
This went well for the first half of the year when work was slow, and badly for the second half once I got super busy at work. Sunday dinners are hard to make it to when you work every Sunday. My grandpa is declining fairly steadily, though, so I really do need to make more time to be around him while I still have the chance. He turns 90 in January.

9. Focus on my writing, and really push myself to take the time for quality over filler.
Yeah, not so much. I had a couple decent blog posts this year, perhaps ones I will even assemble into a top 10 list if I find 10 I am at least halfway proud of. But for the most part, this year was slow on the writing front. I resolve to do better next year. (She said, as she wrote a blog post that could arguably be deemed "filler.")

10. Do something big and out of character. Details to come.
So, now that I didn't do it after all, I can reveal that my plan was to run a half marathon on Thanksgiving day. That obviously didn't happen, nor will I be running the March half marathon at Disney World that I was thinking of trying. However, I do want to try and complete a half marathon at some point, so I am going to try and carry this one over to the new year as well. But I did do something fairly out of character this year, and it was scary as hell: I went to Biloxi by myself and played in a poker tournament. I nearly got hives just thinking about doing it, but I'm glad I did. Even if I lost a lot of money and came away having yet again underperformed against the big boys.

Despite what this list might indicate, 2009 was a big year for me in several ways. As I look back, I'm pleased with where I've traveled to and hopeful that 2010 will be a year of even more change. I'll be thinking about my resolutions for 2010 in the next few weeks (several of them will be virtually identical, of course), but for now I think I give my progress in 2009 a B-. But of course, I resolve to do better next year, too.

Tell me about your Christmas list

I am at a total loss in the gift-giving department this year. I just cannot figure out what any of my friends or family want or need, and since I'm unlikely to have much time to shop I need to come up with some ideas in a hurry. Unless people give me some good suggestions, virtually everyone on my Christmas list is getting a sweater, a bottle of wine, cologne/perfume, or a Snuggie. Seriously, I wish I were kidding but that's what has been purchased so far and what I think I am stuck with.

As a little quid pro quo for you sharing your wish list with me, I'll share mine with you in case you are similarly at a loss for gift ideas:

1. A Blu-ray disc player: preferably the kind that also can download movies etc. via wi-fi, because seriously, how cool is that?

2. Lolita Lempicka perfume: I wear this constantly. I got 2 bottles of it for my birthday a few years ago and I have just about used them up!

3. A dutch oven: the Le Creuset ridiculously expensive cast iron kind, not the one where you fart in my bed and pull the covers over my head, in case anyone was thinking this one sounded way too easy.

4. Gift card for a massage at a spa: always a good idea for the women in your life.

5. An FSU flag to fly outside my house: now that the team is back on the right track to its former perennial glory, I want to proudly display my allegiance in front of my soon-to-be garnet and gold house

I could probably come up with a few more, but those are the first 5 things that spring to mind. Of course, I would also be thrilled with a sweater or a bottle of wine (or tequila), because I am simple like that.

What was once weird seems smart again

When I was fresh out of law school, I returned to my hometown of Orlando to help my parents move my grandmother out of her assisted living apartment and into the nursing home next door. Her Alzheimer's had progressed to the point that she could not be counted upon to feed and clothe herself regularly or to spend her days without risking injuries to herself. Five years before, my parents had flown to Sun City, Arizona to prepare to pare down her five bedroom house full of antiques and memories into just enough stuff to cram into that one bedroom apartment, and they had spent a week doing battle with her over the things she couldn't bear to part with. Even then, she had still brought so much extra furniture and "stuff" to her 250 sq. ft existence that much of it had to be stored in the purgatory of my parents' garage, since my grandmother refused to give it up but there simply was no place to put it in her jampacked apartment.

For two days we cleaned out drawers, cabinets, and boxes. We marveled at the things she had insisted on bringing along even though she would never use them--mended sheets that were likely several decades old, stacks and stacks of old margarine containers that had been washed for use storing leftovers, herbs and spices in containers so old they were barely legible--she had saved as much as she possibly could have for the cross-country trip. (We even found a box of tampons, which was particularly strange since my grandmother had a hysterectomy in the 70's, well before this box of Tampax had ever been made. After trying to figure out why she had them and resisting the urge to chalk it up to the Alzheimer's, we ultimately decided she had bought them to have in the house for guests who might need one, and then could not bear to throw away a perfectly good full box...so she moved them with her to Florida.) She had dry goods and canned goods with the date written on the top in Sharpie so we could tell exactly when she had bought this 7 year old bag of flour, or that 6 year old jar of pickles. She had probably 50 bath towels in various stages of disintegration and dozens of hand towels, some of which were clearly old bath towels that had been cut up.

We laughed about the depression era ways of my grandparents, how they refused to throw anything away even though they surely must have recognized that they would never use that holey towel from 1965 or that bag of flour that was purchased in the 80's. Why did they hold on to such things when my parents bought them all new towels when they moved to Florida, or when a new bag of flour was only three dollars? The answer, now that I think about it, was simple: They never knew when they might need it. Once you have had to get by with nothing, you never take anything for granted.

Today I read this NY Times story in which people my grandparents' age talk about what they remember doing to get by during the Great Depression. I see so many of my grandparents' old quirky habits in these stories. My other grandmother, who is still alive, has refused to use her new clothes dryer in the house she just moved into. After a lifetime of hanging the clothes on the line, she just can't get used to any other way. She has instilled her hoarding nature into my mother, such that I remember growing up with a pantry full of empty jars and plastic margarine containers that my mother wouldn't throw away. She still doesn't--when she sent people home with leftovers from Thanksgiving last year, it was all packed into those same jars and containers. (I now have a lovely jelly jar that previously held leftover gravy.) My mother was taught to sew at a young age, and so instead of spending a hundred dollars apiece on my homecoming dresses in high school, she made all of them herself from patterns she let me select. When the bread gets moldy, my mother insists on cutting off that part but eating the rest, even if she has to make it into croutons or breadcrumbs to disguise it from me and my father (who are always quite repulsed.)

As much as I have made fun of my family for their spendthrift ways, as we face an economic crisis like we have never dealt with before in my lifetime I find these quirky behaviors seeming far more sane. At the start of the Depression, people probably thought it would be over before things got truly painful then, too. They figured they might have to use up their savings, they might need to sell the things they could part with like cars and jewelry. They figured maybe they would have to move to a cheaper house or a smaller apartment. They certainly never imagined that for years upon years there would be no work, no way to earn money for food. They did not fathom that they might have to feed the entire family for a week on what they would once have spent for one meal at a restaurant. They probably did not envision going for 6 or 7 years without buying a single thing that was not vitally essential to daily survival--no towels, sheets, clothes, shoes, books, lamps, or even a stove. If it broke, you found another way.

I'm hopeful we will never need to know that depth of sacrifice, resolve and ingenuity. I want to say that a month's worth of rising stock market prices and an injection of government spending are signs that the recovery has begun, however slowly. But I have renewed appreciation for the quirks of my family that once annoyed me, and what they arose out of. It is only after you have known that dark, deep level of fear, that endurance of a basic survival condition for so long that you never thought it would ever get better, that you would continue to reflexively hoard a twenty-five year old tin of cocoa because "you never know...one day you just might need it."

If this lawyer thing doesn't work out...

I could probably give it a go as a cupcake baker. Behold my creation for my father's birthday:

Random Post-Christmas Babble

I've lost my blogging mojo. There's so much going on at this time of year, and yet so little that feels like it's worth writing about. But because I feel guilty when I go more than 5 days without posting, I figure I should give a little quick and dirty snapshot of the things bouncing around my addled brain.

* Despite the pronouncements from the family that this would be a low gift giving year due to the economy being in the shitter, I really did clean up quite nicely. I got some wonderful bath stuff, a buffet from Pottery Barn, a Kitchenaid stand mixer (finally! and I didn't even have to get engaged or married to get one, either!), a new wreath for my front door because my mom decided the current one is "sad," and a terrycloth loungewear set. I am also allegedly getting a 2 parent painting crew to finally finish the painting of my house. And finally, I got at least one of the intangible cosmic sort of things I was hoping for, and still have my fingers crossed on a couple others. Hopefully the universe will deliver on those too.

* We had three vegetarians at Christmas dinner this year, and you would think my mother was told that these people would die if they accidentally touched meat the way the news threw her into a state of confusion and panic. She could NOT figure out what to make for a Christmas dinner meal that would be appealing to vegetarians, and then suddenly she decided that as long as we had eighty-two types of vegetables on the table, she could serve ham AND turkey. The vegetarians brought a quiche with fake tofu ham in it, and all was well. But the week of menu planning with my mom before she just decided to make every vegetable in the known universe, that was not fun to be a part of.

* We have this new stupid Christmas tradition here in the office that I'm very unhappy about. The new head of our department brought in a little stuffed elf doll that is supposed to "do mischief" to people's offices. Basically, whoever gets hit by the elf is supposed to pick another target and mess up their workspace somehow. Predictably in a place filled with soulless lawyers, this has been taken to serious extremes already. Last week saw one poor secretary's workspace blocked off with boxes floor to cieling, behind which there was tape 12 feet across in all directions from her filing cabinets to her desk to the walls of her cubicle. It took her several hours to undo the damage.

Despite my prounoucement that I found this whole thing stupid, some brave soul decided to mess up my office in the elf's name sometime before I got here on Friday. We're supposed to send a cheery little email to the group about how Paul the elf messed with our space, but I refused. Instead, I fixed everything he'd messed up, took the elf to another associate's office, and took every piece of paper on his desk and stacked it on top of his bookshelf. That was enough. There was no taping, no crazy decorating, no fire hazardry. And this associate has not sent a cheery little email about the elf's mischief, either. I think hopefully people by now have realized that a) Christmas is over and b) this idea was pretty dumb to begin with.

Bah Humbug. (Yeah, they say I should be more positive at work. What of it?!)

* Pray for my friend Jen, who is going to the dentist for the first time in years tomorrow because she has a serious tooth issue. She's very nervous, and she will need the support. I sent her to my dentist, who you may remember treated me mostly OK when I showed up there after nearly 9 years without a dental visit back in 2006. It helped that they gave me Nitrous, and then Valium when I didn't like the Nitrous. I told Jen to ask for both!

* I have absolutely zero plans for New Year's Eve as of right now, though I must say that the event at the Graveyard with a burlesque striptease that Tessa wrote about certainly sounds like it has potential. Or, there's always the incomparable Francine Reed at Blind Willie's, if I want to pay $50 for a reserved table seat. (Probably not.) I am not someone who feels the need to have crazy New Year's plans every year, and in fact I have not particularly enjoyed some of the more memorably over-the-top planned events I went to in years past. But still, I want to do SOMETHING to ring in the new year. (Other than watch a certain wedding webcast...)

* So maybe it's because we were drunk, or maybe it's because we were reminiscing about the geeky former life in which we both met, but Jen and I had a hilarious conversation just before Christmas about....bacon. We were talking about the problem with earthy crunchy people--the type who always eat healthy, do outdoorsy shit and are environmentally responsible (you know who you are--and I prounounced that I do not trust anyone who does not eat bacon. And I meant it! Seriously, bacon is one of life's great unexpected pleasures, and anyone who does not recognize its innate wonderfulness is suspect in my book. Fine, eat turkey bacon if you must, but do so with the recognition that you are attempting to compromise between bacon-y goodness and your earthy crunchy ways.

Along similar lines, I proclaimed on Christmas Eve (again a little drunkenly) that "mayonnaise makes everything better." You might expect to see a new blog dedicated to these concepts in the near future, as soon as Jen and I get off our asses and make it look like an actual blog.

* I can feel the natural progression of my sports allegiances to Atlanta teams occurring now, particularly as the Falcons and Hawks are actually pretty good this year. (Braves are going to need to work harder to win me over from the Red Sox.) You may recall that I have a pretty solid record of bringing sports championships to my city, and yes I do take all the credit for it. I've now been in Atlanta for 3 years, so it's about time for things to start turning around. I believe in Matty Ice! And I would totally have his babies.

* Congratulations to Jen and Tony, who in just 2 short days will be tying the knot in Vegas on New Year's Eve. I can honestly say this will be the first wedding ceremony I will have watched over the internet, but somehow it all makes sense. Have a great time, and best wishes for a wonderful life together.

See, thinking and talking about those two taking the big leap snapped me right out of my curmudgeonliness from earlier in this post. If that isn't a sign of real inspiration, I don't know what is.

To give thanks

This morning it hit me like a ton of bricks: in seven weeks, Barack Obama will be President. Somehow in all of the excitement and drama over the election, the historic win, and the announcements of cabinet appointments, I'd lost sight of the amazingly hopeful and optimistic decision our country made on November 4th. I am so thankful that we as a country did not take the cynical way out, relying on prejudice and fear to guide us to a bad decision.

In these trying times fraught with worry and challenges, I think it's more important than ever to remind ourselves of all that we have to be thankful for. Here's a brief list of what I am keeping close to my heart as I head into the holiday, other than our incoming President:

1. I still have a job that pays me inordinately well. I know there are many who cannot say that now, and I fear every day that I will soon be among them. But for now, I can pay all of my bills, save money, even help out friends and family who might need it. That is a wonderful thing.

2. My parents and I are all healthy. Minor annoyances about colds and flus aside, none of us have had any major health problems recently. My grandfather went through a scare and a hospitalization earlier this year, but after getting a pacemaker he appears to be doing just fine. My aunt Grace lost her father early this year, and she just learned that her mother's kidney cancer had spread to her lungs before she had her kidney removed in September. They are deciding now whether she will have chemo & radiation, or let it run its course. Watching Grace deal with the challenges she has experienced with her parents this year makes me so thankful to have my parents still with me and doing well. I know many others wish they could say the same.

3. So many friends having babies this year! A friend in Boston had a baby girl last week, a friend here in Atlanta had a baby girl earlier this month, and another friend in Boston had a baby girl in May. Another friend is due to give birth in just a few weeks. (I also had a friend who lost twins early in a pregnancy a few months ago, and that was devastating.) So, I am very thankful for the wonderful babies that my friends are bringing into this world and thankful for the healthy pregnancies.

4. I am thankful for my friends. Despite all the drama and turmoil I go through, I always know that there are some very important people in my life who will be there for me whenever I need them. They have given me more than I could ever repay them for, and I hope to have them in my life for a long, long time. Those of you on this list know who you are, and I am so thankful that I met each of you. I hope none of you ever leave my life.

5. I am thankful that so many people I know poured their heart, soul, sweat and tears into this election. I respect the hell out of the people I know who were delegates, who knocked on doors and phone banked, who went on bus tours and to pancake breakfasts, who covered the election relentlessly on blogs and brought to light the stories nobody else was telling. The folks at Blog for Democracy, in particular, did all of these things in a year when nobody really expected major political change here in Georgia. But they were undeterred, and the Presidential election was closer than anyone imagined, while Jim Martin made it into a runoff and has at least a fighting chance of unseating Saxby Chambliss. Even if we didn't turn Georgia blue (yet), I am so thankful that there are still people willing to fight tooth and nail to work towards that goal someday. You make my cold cynical heart swell with pride to know such optimism and ambition.

No Harmony, No Peace

Periodically, my parents become worried that their 33 year old unmarried only child will become a spinster. They encourage me to try matchmaker services, join singles clubs, "be less picky," etc. A few years ago they saw the creator of eHarmony.com on Dr. Phil or Oprah, and thought that his dating website sounded like a quick fix. They urged me to fill out a profile and see if I could find one of those legion of available and compatible men they had been assured would be there for me.

I was reluctant, but agreed to do it. I spent over an hour answering the lengthy list of questions for the site's compatibility matching test. And then, just as I finally finished the test and the site was computing my results, I was amazed to be told something along the lines of "we're sorry, but you don't match any of our recognized personality profiles and therefore we will be unable to match you to any of the other singles on our site." I was shocked--I had been rejected! I'm a somewhat complex person, I know, but how could that make me unmatchable...unlovable! When I told my parents what happened, my dad's first reaction was "what the hell did you put in your answers that caused it to reject you?"

But friends soon reported that there were some anomalies to how eHarmony performs the matching function, with certain types of people excluded altogether and others steered towards very narrow restrictions on what matches they will receive. Women were not permitted to select men who were significantly younger than them...but they could choose significantly older men. The site appeared to prefer same race matches, as opposed to interracial matches. The friends who had been rejected as I had were, by and large, more politically and socially liberal in their personality test answers. We suspected the site felt liberals were "harder to match" than moderates or conservatives. You get the idea.

And then, there was the gay thing. EHarmony.com did not provide for gay, lesbian or bisexual matching at all. None. Finito. The site was created by an evangelical Christian, and many suspected he simply refused to participate in bringing gay couples together. That was enough for me to hear, and I decided I would not want to be part of this site had it accepted me as a member. I wore my rejection like a badge of honor after that.

Apparently, several gay and lesbian would-be users of eHarmony.com decided to fight back instead and filed lawsuits over their denial of access to the "public" website service. Now, rather than continue to fight such lawsuits and risk having to pay out on judgments that the site has violated state laws prohibiting discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation, eHarmony.com will instead attempt to settle such claims by offering to open a gay and lesbian version of the site called "Compatible Partners." The name sounds kind of depressingly clinical and feels tinged with reluctance, but I still say good on eHarmony for opening the site, and good for the plaintiffs who made it happen.

Random

I don't have the mental clarity or time for mutiple blog posts, so some tidbits bouncing around my brain to tide folks over:

* Troy Davis dies in a week. I really want to go to protest outside the execution, but I don't know if I will be able to get out of town in time. If not, I will sit on my front step that night and light a candle, and pray. I encourage all who find the decision to execute this man without full consideration of the grounds for his appeal to do the same.

* Tonight I am going with a group of folks to try Taverna Plaka. I haven't had greek food in ages, so I'm very excited! Review forthcoming as soon as I find the time.

* This weekend, I'm going to the FSU-Virginia Tech game. Considering that we lost the Miami game I went to last year, and the 3 home games I went to the year before that, I am a little apprehensive about whether I might be jinxing the team. However, I bought new gear to wear in the hope of exorcising the old demons.

* My darling Red Sox are out of the playoffs, but they really overachieved in making it to game 7 of the ALCS given the injuries they were struggling with. Now I have to root for the Tampa Bay (Devil) Rays, since I grew up in central FL. However, I suspect most Braves fans would be rooting against them because if the Rays win they will have eclipsed the Braves' "worst to first" record in 1991...when the Braves lost in the World Series.

* Pretty much everything I watch on TV these days is disappointing and doesn't seem worth the time. Grey's Anatomy sucks, True Blood is cheesy and porny (and badly written), Project Runway was a mere shell of its former self in this last season on Bravo, I lost interest in Fringe after 2 episodes, I couldn't get back into watching the Sarah Connor Chronicles or Pushing Daisies, and Heroes is clearly in the category of one-season wonders previously occupied by Friday Night Lights. Even Gossip Girl isn't as good this time around. Are there any shows that are lighting up your TV screens that I should be watching? (Excepting those on Showtime, which I don't have.)

* This weekend, I attempted Operation Convince the Family to Vote for Obama. It didn't go so well. My grandparents aren't going to vote at all (which is better than a vote for McCain, I guess), and my parents are both so afraid of Democrats having unfettered control of government that they won't be swayed. At least that is their reasoning, rather than fear of a secret Muslim or focus on his alleged relationship with William Ayers. But still, Habersham county is apparently McCain country.

* I bought Mario Kart last weekend for my Wii, and I can't stop playing it. The race that takes place in a shopping mall is so incredibly hard, I want to kill myself every time I try it. But I keep trying it anyway.

* Work is busy, but busy is good. Even though the tension in these parts is pretty thick right about now. Everyone's waiting for the other shoe of the financial crisis to drop, and wondering if it will fall on them. Not the greatest of environments in which to spend my days.

* The election cannot get here fast enough. I am officially sick of it, and ready for Obama to just WIN ALREADY.

Today's Funny

I can't write about Sarah Palin's speech last night yet...still too angry. But what I can do is share with you the best moment of the night as captured on CNN and C-Span. My dad and I laughed so hard when this happened, we cried. I won't share the wildly inappropriate joke my dad made that demonstrated exactly where my twisted sense of humor comes from.

Enjoy.




(Sent by Darcey. Thanks!)

A Great Love

Forty years ago today, my parents were married in a small church in Iowa. My mother's family opposed her getting married before she had finished college, and up until the morning of the wedding she did not even know if her father would be present to walk her down the aisle. My parents paid for the wedding themselves with some humble assistance from my father's family, because of my maternal grandparents' opposition.

My parents met in 1965, while both were attending a small community college in Iowa. My father had landed there after his parents had pulled him out of the University of Iowa right before he would have otherwise flunked out. My mother, having grown up on a farm in the small Iowa town of Klemme, was the first member of her family to attend college. On the day that my parents first met, my mother turned to her best friend Margo and told her that my father seemed "like the kind of man you marry." On their first date, they went to the movie Thunderball. My father's car ran out of gas on the way home, and he swears to this day it wasn't a ploy in an attempt to make out with my mother.

They dated for two years, and then my father was called up for basic training after his parents had persuaded him to enroll in ROTC. Vietnam was just beginning, and he sent my mother love letters every week from basic. (I know because I found them and read them when we moved houses while I was in high school.) Only because my father was diagnosed with Meniere's disease, which causes vertigo and was feared to render him unfit to serve, was he not sent to Vietnam along with the others in ROTC. Instead, he was discharged and he and my mother transferred to Mankato State University in Minnesota. There, they decided over my grandparents' opposition to get married.

After both of them graduated from Mankato State with degrees in education, they moved to Shakopee, a small town outside Minneapolis. My father worked as a high school history teacher and my mother was a fourth grade teacher. My father left the profession of teaching after a couple of years, and entered the management trainee program at Dayton Hudson Corporation. They had a great deal of trouble having a baby, and I have heard stories I would rather not have heard about my mother standing on her head after sex because someone had told her that would help conception. After 6 years of trying without success, they visited the Mayo Clinic and my mother was given fertility treatments. Despite being warned of the increased likelihood of a multiple pregnancy situation, they ended up with only little ole me nearly 7 years after they were first married.

Just after I was born, the company my father had joined after leaving Dayton Hudson informed him that he would be transferred to either Chicago, Salt Lake City, or Orlando. Initially he and my mother settled on Chicago, but he was subsequently persuaded to move to Orlando. My father began working down there while I was still a newborn, traveling back and forth to Minneapolis periodically. When I was a year old, my parents packed up everything they had and moved to Orlando. My father still had to travel a great deal once the move was complete, and with a baby and no friends or family in Florida, my mother had a very hard time. Both of my parents acknowledge that they came dangerously close to divorce during the first year we were in Florida. But still, somehow they endured.

I had a happy childhood, and I never knew that there was any marital strife in the family. I'm sure it was there, but they kept it carefully hidden. Instead, what I remember about my parents' relationship is ultimately that through as long as I have been aware of it, my parents have stayed hot for each other. Just recently, as we discussed their anniversary plans, my mother jokingly mentioned that they had the Cialis all ready to go. I have walked in on my parents getting it on more times than I could ever way to remember, and have heard them talk about it so often that it barely registers for me now. Instead of being bothered, I find it charming that two people in their sixties could still be that attracted to each other on a physical level.

As I got older, I learned things about the difficulties they have faced in their marriage. A few years ago when I told my mother that I'd found out my boyfriend had cheated on me (by reading his email), my mom told me a story of her own about finding a picture in my father's desk drawer of a female coworker of his on his lap, kissing his cheek. She had been furious, and my father had told her that some other coworkers had put her up to it as a joke and snapped a photo. She spoke of how hard it was for her to make a decision of whether to believe him or to fear the worst. Ultimately, she had decided that the only thing she could do was to let it go. In her heart, she knew he loved her and that he would never do anything to hurt her. And once she knew that, she knew she could not assume the worst of him ever again. My mother has taught me so much, and one of the things she is still trying to teach me is how to truly trust the person you love, and to let go of jealousy and fear. I hope I someday learn from her example.

My parents and their relationship are not perfect. Like all families, they have their issues, their sore spots, their battle scars. But forty years with the one you love is a milestone that few people reach anymore, and it means something. Out of their marriage, my parents have built a successful life, and have a daughter who I hope has been more a source of pride than difficulty so far. I know that they are a tremendous source of pride for me. I am so honored to be the product of a great love, of two people who built a real partnership and have stuck by it no matter what life has sent in their direction.

A Fine Whine

My parents' 40th wedding anniversary is this Sunday, and I have been struggling to come up with an appropriate anniversary gift. Originally, I was going to throw them a party until my father said I have to wait and do that at 50 years' marriage. Then I thought about sending them on a trip, but they are currently in the throes of trying to get my grandparents' new townhouse completed and getting them moved up from Florida, so I don't know that they could even take a trip until sometime in July or possibly August. And my father indicated they will probably take a short overnight trip to a nice hotel somewhere in the NC mountains soon as his present to my mom. So, the trip is out.

Last night I saw a suggestion online that a bottle of wine from the year of their marriage would be a great gift. This is especially fitting since the 40th anniversary is the ruby anniversary, so a bottle of excellent red wine would be very symbolic on multiple levels. (You just get better with age, etc.) They also happen to adore wine. I did some online research and found that you cannot legally ship wine into Georgia, so I looked for sellers of old and rare vintages here in Atlanta. As luck would have it, there is one almost directly across the street from my office, so I headed there this morning before work. Sadly, the very knowledgeable sommelier at the wine shop informed me that 1968 was not a good vintage year for wine, and thus it would be exceedingly difficult to find a local seller of a bottle from that year. And even if I did find one, because it was not a great year there was a very real chance that I would have paid handsomely for a bottle of undrinkable swill. He then suggested that perhaps a bottle of 1966 Bordeaux ('66 being a good year) would be just as good an idea, even though it cost at least $700. No thank you!

But this brings me to the whine portion of this post....what the fuck is the deal with people who collect wine? I simply do not understand why people would pay hundreds, even thousands, of dollars for a bottle of something that is meant to be consumed. In researching old vintages online last night, I was struck by how often a bottle of 20-30 year old wine would be sold for over $2500. Wine, like anything else made of organic matter, eventually has a shelf life. If you don't drink it before it goes bad, then what is the point of owning it? And if you are just going to drink it anyhow, is any wonderful wine experience really worth $2500 for 4 glasses' worth?

The other things that people choose to use as investment collectibles--cars, jewelry, art, etc. neither "go bad" nor were intended to be consumed. They are sound investments and in most instances will only increase in value. But the wine markets are strangely finicky, and every time someone uncorks a great expensive bottle they know that they are taking the risk that this bottle will have turned to vinegar. Buying collectible wine has to be about the dumbest "investment" I can think of.

Now, back to the drawing board on an anniversary gift. I'm currently leaning towards a digital camera and digital picture frame, even though I think that my father will enjoy that much more than my mother will, and even though I don't really feel like that gift has the "heart" and significance I wanted for this occasion. I'm stuck without another option, though.

For what it's worth

I come from a family of Republicans, and often I find their average Joe ruminations about politics to be an interesting insight into the conversations that must be going on in houses all over the un-internetted portions of the country.

Yesterday, as I rode with my parents to dinner, my Dad told me that my grandfather who has not missed voting in a presidential election in 40+ years is talking about staying home in November. Apparently, my Grandpa thinks that John McCain is just going to be "more of the same," and Grandpa can't abide voting for that. (Of course, this Iowa farmer turned Florida retiree isn't very likely to suddenly vote for the Democrat either.)

My Dad then started talking about how he'll probably vote for McCain. He wants to wait and see what happens once Obama is the nominee, once they start drawing real distinctions between the parties' positions on major issues. I mentioned my suspicion that different approaches to Iraq are likely to be the central conflict between McCain and Obama in the fall, and my Dad launched into the argument of how irresponsible it would be to just pull the troops out of Iraq. I asked him if he would be OK with it if the decision over whether to withdraw the troops remained a campaign issue in the 2012 election, considering McCain has said the earliest he can see withdrawal being achieved is somewhere around 2013. My Dad shrugged in defeat, as though he had started a fight he didn't want to proceed with because he suspected he would lose.

Mom said she's thinking of voting for Obama, she just doesn't know yet who she thinks will do a better job. (Mom voted for Perot--twice--so she's more prone to party-jumping when she's dissatisfied with the Republican candidate.) She has watched a few of his speeches and finds Obama quite inspirational and powerful, but she's a little worried that he's too green. But she's keeping an open mind about it.

The one thing all three agreed upon: they would never, ever, in a million years even consider voting for Hillary Clinton. And if she were on the ballot, they would definitely have voted Republican.

Again, for what it's worth. I find these sort of political trends in my family to be interesting in light of the general malaise in the Republican party and the unprecedented enthusiasm and involvement of new and occasional voters in the Democratic party. These are, I think, good trends.

Signs you have a shopping problem

My parents are at my place today, and my dad is building me a new closet. My lovely 1915 house only has one real closet, and it's about 6 ft by 6 ft at most. I have somehow managed to fit an insane amount of clothes, shoes, bags, laundry baskets and luggage all into this tiny column of closet, but it could be better utilized if we actually built in better shelves, racks, etc. Hence my dad's project. In the meantime, the contents of my closet are currently on my entire queen size bed and along one wall of my bedroom. Before you think that the contents of this blurry photo are all the clothes I own, you should know that I also have a large armoire in the guest room that houses suits and dresses, and have 2 or 3 big plastic bins of off-season clothes that reside in the basement. Yes, I might have a problem.

It's not just a southern thing

I'm seeing so many wonderful reactions to Obama's historic speech about race in America. In particular, the born and raised Southerners all speak of common experiences of families going through generational change in terms of how people think and talk about race. These are important stories and I'm so happy that Obama's speech is causing people to think and talk about race when the temptation is often to not touch the third rail because we all fear it will become too ugly and emotional. And it still might, but that is not a reason to stop the conversation.

But I'm bothered by the feeling that comes from these stories that they are somehow limited primarily to southern white folks dealing with their ancestors' ugly history and backwards views about race. Unfortunately, I think the problem is far more pervasive than that, and I think even those who did not grow up in the south need a little soul-cleansing in this regard.

My entire family is from Iowa or Minnesota, neither of which has a large black population or a history of pervasive government-sanctioned racial injustice, and yet I can recall numerous instances of hearing my grandparents, aunts and uncles, and even parents say things that I found offensive and wrong. I wish I could say that every time it happened I spoke up to stop them, but sometimes it was not worth it to pick that battle even though I did not agree. My father still says things on occasion that bother me, and even now sometimes I can't stand the thought of taking him to task for it. I should, but I don't.

In a lot of ways, because of the familiarity of living side by side and dealing with racial upheaval in the 60s and 70s, southerners are more comfortable talking about the old wounds and the way they truly feel about race than the rest of us, who simply sit grim-faced when the topic comes up and only reveal their true feelings in the hushed privacy of likeminded company. Since moving to Georgia over 2 years ago I've had so many instances of people presuming that I share their views, as they openly launch into a diatribe about how there are too many black people in this city, or that you should avoid certain neighborhoods as "too ghetto" or certain destinations as too full of a certain clientele, or talking about certain public officials with what they believe will be a shared assumption that they only get elected because it's Atlanta and they're black. It's all on display here, like it or not, but at least it's real and open.

In my experience outside the South, it's the exact opposite. For all of the talk about Boston being progressive or liberal, it's one of the most racially regressed places I've ever been to. The city is incredibly segregated, with each racial or ethnic group retreating to their own small pockets of the city. The white folks don't go to Roxbury, and the black folks don't go to Southie. Many people don't remember that during the desegregation busing eras all over the country, some of the worst fights were in the greater Boston area where white parents fought tooth and nail to avoid having their white children be forced to attend classes, play football games against, or otherwise interact with black children. Before Deval Patrick was elected governor in 2006, I don't think I could name for you a single elected official from Massachusetts who was black. I think my first law firm when I graduated from law school in 2000 had one black partner, even though it had 200 lawyers. (In contrast, my current firm has 5 black partners and even 1 black managing partner in this office--and we're less than half the size.)

But the problem is, in Boston nobody really talks about this sort of thing because polite upstanding progressive white people in the northeast don't talk honestly and openly about race. Much like my family, they keep up appearances to one another and only reveal their true feelings when they are nearly certain they are in likeminded company. You might think from outward appearances that this makes them a more racially forward-thinking area of the country than the South, but you'd be wrong. This is why I think this is a conversation that everyone should be having around dinner tables and lunch tables and bar tables throughout the country. Maybe the South has more to atone for, maybe it has more ugly in its past, but all of us could use a good honest gut check and a little cleansing of the old ideas. All of us have people in our lives, in our families, who say things we disagree with but who we won't disown--be it our father, or neighbor, or our pastor. We try to change minds, but we also try to pick and choose the best parts of the people we care about and leave the rest alone.

Today at lunch, the subject of the speech came up. Many people talked about their impressions of the speech and of the Rev. Wright brouhaha. One of my coworkers said that she hopes it's generational and slowly phasing out. She said that her grandparents are terribly racist, and her parents are somewhat less openly racist, and she hopes that her generation of the family has gotten racial animus out of its system entirely. Interestingly, she is not only not from the South...she is not white. Our ignorant and ugly racist history and ancestry is something we all have to deal with, no matter what we look like or where we grew up.

What do you get for the woman who wants nothing

My mom's birthday is Saturday and I have no idea what to get her. She's turning a young 61, and she is notoriously hard to buy for.

Unlike me, my mother hates to shop. She does not like clothes or purses or makeup. Whereas I would love a day of beauty or a massage, she would be uncomfortable about someone making a fuss over her and would never ever go for the whole "stripping down to get rubbed by a stranger" thing. I get my nails done once a week or so, she has had one real manicure and pedicure in her entire life AND SHE NEVER WENT BACK. I buy clothes at the rate of about 3 new outfits per month, my mother still owns clothing she bought when I was in high school. You get the point.

Once upon a time my go-to gift for Mom was perfume. But her bathroom is now populated with the nearly full bottles of a dozen different kinds that I bought her when I was a teenager, and so let's just say I don't see the benefit to adding to her underutilized and possibly rancid collection.

For the past few years I've spent every birthday, Christmas and Mother's Day populating her kitchen with various gadgets and accoutrements because that is the one place I knew she needed and would enjoy things. But after buying her a Kitchenaid mixer, a steamer, a grill pan, a fancy hand carved salad bowl, a Le Auberge casserole, a wine opener, and god knows what else...her kitchen is full. And considering that my parents have two dishwashers and a kitchen island so large they call it the continent, when I say it's full then you KNOW they have too much kitchen stuff.

So what is left? For her birthday last year I offered to get her hair cut and colored in the fancy salon I go to in Atlanta, but she just shrugged and said she didn't want the trouble of upkeep. I tried to get my dad to agree to take her for a weekend trip, but they never went. And now I can't think of anything she really wants that I could give her, material object or otherwise. (Except for me to get married and give her a grandchild, but I don't really know anyone who's willing to help me out on getting that one accomplished. And yes, if I asked her what she really wants that is almost certainly what she'd say.)

I am at a loss and I need your help. What do you get for the woman who has everything she wants and who wants for nothing? Gift cards seem so impersonal in situations like these, but I'm nearly to that point of desperation. My mother doesn't understand technology, so things like digital cameras or iPods are just beyond her comprehension. I do get the sense she is bored, but I don't know what I could convince her to take up as a hobby to relieve that boredom. She does not read much, does not knit or sew (anymore) and you can only cook and garden so much.

Help me blogreaders, you're my only hope. I need to purchase whatever I'm going to get for her by this weekend so I can take it up there for her birthday.

The start of political junkie season

We've all enjoyed the leadup to the primaries, but the real hot season for political junkies starts tonight with the Iowa caucuses. The primaries will start coming fast and furious after this one, and we can all watch the press coverage, polling and other tea leaves for signs of where the momentum is headed and what stories are moving the voters. I live for this stuff every election, and will probably play absolutely terrible poker tonight because I will be far too concerned with knowing what's happening in Iowa. But the good news is that finally all the prognosticating and strategizing and talking out of asses will be drowned out by the deafening sound of real people voting and making their feelings known. And that's always very cool, even when you don't agree with the outcome.

I may not have said this here much before, but my entire family is from Iowa. My mother was raised on a farm in a small town called Klemme, and my dad grew up all over the midwest but spent much of his childhood in Cedar Rapids. They met at a small community college after my dad flunked out of U of Iowa, his father's alma mater. While they married in Minnesota at Mankato state, our family's roots are very much in the state of Iowa and I still have great uncles and cousins who live there. I have very warm memories from summers as a very small child on my grandparents' farm in Klemme. I remember picking blackberries and raspberries, and playing with the farm kittens (including one that I named Hamburger King because he loved raw hamburger.) I remember my great aunt Darlene's house with the tire swing and the room filled with dolls. I remember riding the John Deere tractor and seeing the sheep in the pen in the back of the house. I remember falling down the stairs of that old farmhouse at about aged 3, and the smell of the root cellar where I would go get popsicles from the freezer. And though I do not remember it, I have heard the story so many times of the day I went to carry eggs back in from the henhouse and dropped one on the ground and kneeled over to see what was inside ("a peach!" I told my mother) that my brain has almost tricked me into remembering it.

Because I still remember Iowa, and because I see so much of it in my family, I always have a little soft spot in my heart for the Iowa caucuses. The quaintly complicated methodology, the level of commitment that Iowans have to show if they want to register a vote, the no-nonsense views they hold and the way they carefully and methodically inspect and mull over the candidates, much like they would a cow they're considering buying. To the people who whine about it being an arcane procedure, you simply don't understand why it's the way Iowa will always do things: Because they always have. And because it works.

I don't know who will win tonight. The polling seems to show a clear trend towards Obama, with secondary help for Edwards and some last minute movement away from Hillary Clinton. But polling in this contest is notoriously difficult, and even relying on crowd size is tricky since so few of the people who could caucus will actually take the time to show up. My hunch is that Obama will win but that it will be close. Either Edwards or Clinton could place second, and I think all will be within 5% points of each other. The most important question is likely to be how the media spins the results, and if they drive the momentum in a particular way with their coverage. (Remember the scream in 2004? That was less about the weirdness of the scream itself and more about the aftermath of all the bad press it got, coupled with the "suddenly Kerry looks like a winner" spin he took out of Iowa.)

But don't let the media fool you into believing Iowa doesn't matter at all. It always has some impact, even if just short term. And stories that lament that we give an early voice to this midwestern farm state with its strange rules and paltry voter turnout do a disservice not only to Iowans, but to the political process. The beauty of having Iowa and New Hampshire go first is that both are filled with surprisingly frank and honest voters. They are no bullshit people. They take their obligation to judge a candidate seriously, and if you can package it and sell it in Des Moines and Nashua, then you can package it and sell it anywhere.

For what it's worth, my family is also all Republican except for me. And I was chagrined to learn that my grandparents appear to like Mitt Romney, though my grandmother is also interested in Mike Huckabee. That fits with the polling, so perhaps you can take the grandparents out of Iowa, but you can't take the Iowa out of the grandparents...

What I got for Christmas (with product review)

So, someone asked why I hadn't blogged my Christmas haul. I guess I just forgot! With two gifts left to exchange (with my friends Jen and Samantha) this is the list so far:

Jewelry box
Tiffany graduated silver bead necklace
casserole dish with a warming transport case
fuzzy white bathrobe
special knee high stockings my mom got in Italy
an olive oil bottle and dipping plate from Italy
garnet colored fleece blanket
lots of wine (mostly from coworkers)
a casino videogame
cash--which I used to buy a GPS device
Banana Republic gift card

My parents opted not to buy me a GPS because they figured I would want to pick one out myself. I was actually happy they chose this option, because they had been looking at the very inexpensive models and I wanted to be able to pick one that had all the features I wanted. Thankfully my grandparents gave their usual far too generous cash gift so I was all set. So, on Saturday after having done my research I made my way to Best Buy.

I have used GPS systems several times in rental cars, and ultimately that drove my purchase. The last time I rented from Avis I used a Garmin device and I really didn't like it. It seemed clunky and slow, and I couldn't figure out how to program an alternate route once I got stuck in a traffic jam. I also wanted something with voice activation so that I would not have to risk wrecking my car in order to program the thing or change my route. I wanted it to be compact so that I could put it away easily when not in use, but also to have the ability to see it clearly while driving.

I settled on the Magellan Maestro 3250. Magellan makes the NeverLost system that has been available in Hertz vehicles for several years, and which I have used at least a dozen times. The Maestro was so similar that it even appeared to have the same voice and sound prompts as NeverLost. The screen is small but legible, and most importantly thin enough to put in my center console without difficult. It has voice activation, which works most of the time but sometimes requires multiple prompts. It also has built in AAA support, so if you are a AAA member you can enter your information and have instant access to roadside assistance. Even if not a AAA member, you can get information about points of interest along your route from the AAA guidebooks.

So far, I haven't taken it on any significant distance trips but I did test it around the neighborhood and found it worked well. There is apparently Bluetooth capability to integrate a cell phone through the device, but I don't have Bluetooth on my cell so I haven't figured that out yet. But, overall I like it and hope that this will prevent me from getting lost as I so often do in these parts. I know that certain friends will be thrilled that they don't have to worry about getting phone calls from me asking to be walked through a route turn by turn as soon as I venture the slightest bit OTP!

I was swayed in part by my experience while waiting for a salesperson to help me at Best Buy. I saw 2 or 3 people come in to return the inexpensive GPS models they'd gotten for Christmas because they didn't work, or lacked features they wanted, and it made me realize that all GPS are not created equal. While it's tempting when a new gadget comes down out of the stratosphere in price and becomes ubiqitous to buy one of the budget models, generally the old adage that you get what you pay for is still true. Put in the extra money to get something you'll actually use and that will work well, or there's really no point.

Gift Ideas

I hope none of my family or coworkers read this. (Friends, you are just going to have to keep guessing because I won't be discussing your gifts here. Mainly because I have no idea what to get any of you.)

I finally figured out what to get all the secretaries, paralegals and file clerks at the office: stationery. Catherine gave me the idea, but since I wanted to keep it cheap, I didn't go to Tiffany, I went to Galison. Beautiful prints and matching boxes, and each set cost me between $9 and $14 depending on how much stuff is in the box. I bought about 14 of these and it cost me $136 with shipping.

My mom was really good about giving me gift ideas for my grandparents, so I have already purchased my grandmother's dish towels and potholders that match her new dishes, plus every year I get my grandparents a huge tub of chocolate covered cherries from Harry and David. I still need to order my grandfather a large print subscription to Reader's Digest (his eyesight isn't that hot) and then they should be all set.

My mom wanted a workout/running/lounge suit and I found her a really beautiful one up at the outlets, and I also need to get her a new nightgown and probably a piece of jewelry. Mom doesn't pamper herself enough, but my dad and I are starting to force her to do that. Dad got 4 sweaters from me already and will be getting a lob wedge as soon as I can figure out where the hell to get a Taylor Made RX7 lob wedge. (Boys who golf--any help?) I also think I may buy them a new digital camera since theirs is many years old.

I just found the awesomest money clip for my cousin Matt, who has his first serious job ever at 20 years old. It's engraved with "Think of when you had none." Since he has spent the last two years doing the poor college student thing before getting this job, I think the sentiment will go over well. (He's normally impossible to buy for.) Matt's parents will be a challenge. I will probably get them a gift certificate to a new restaurant that just opened in the town where they and my parents live. My aunt Grace is dealing with a lot right now with her father's Alzheimer's getting much worse, so I think she needs some pampering too. I may see if there is a spa up in that area that I can get her a gift certificate to for a massage.

My secretary is still a very tough person to buy for. Originally I was going to get her this Tiffany necklace, but now I'm having second thoughts about whether it fits her style. Last year, the other associate I share her with and I bought her a spa day at Spa Sydell so it will be hard to top that.

I still have no idea what to get for my friends, so as usual they are the ones whose gifts I will struggle with. Feel free to send along your wish list if you're reading this and know I need help on your gift! I'll show you mine if you show me yours...

My wish list:

Rotating cake stand
Crock Pot
Tiffany graduated silver bead necklace
Casserole dishes
Jewelry box
Henri Bendel Quince or Pomegranate candles
office desk chair
stationery and note cards
digital picture frame
gift certificate for a masseuse

Will wonders never cease

Despite my whining and worry, our Thanksgiving dinner was in fact entirely edible. My aunt's mother has apparently learned her own limitations and did not attempt to make things that were too complicated or prone to failure. So, there was no gravy or mashed potatoes, but baked white and sweet potatoes which were fine. (Luckily thanks to my mom making me a full turkey dinner last weekend, I'd about had enough mashed potatoes and gravy to last a lifetime anyhow.) The stuffing she made had apples and sausage in it and was actually very tasty, the turkey wasn't too dry, and we made the standard green bean casserole as a side to accompany their bland sauteed zucchini and summer squash. Mom and I also made the pecan pie and pumpkin cheesecake, which were as good as ever.

All in all it was a very nice dinner and I felt guilty for doubting their abilities. Not having gotten the cooking bug out of my system, however, when we got home that night I decided to bake a ton of pumpkin bread. I fear I will be eating it for weeks, I made so much!

On Friday we decided to brave the outlet mall up on 400, which was probably a bad idea. Every year we swear we'll never do Black Friday again, and every year we ignore it and do it anyway. About $1000 later, a hefty chunk of my Christmas shopping is done AND I got lots of new fall/winter clothes for myself. But still, it was terribly exhausting.

Now I'm trying to get a ton of work done so that I can head out of town on Wednesday evening for the *gulp* poker tournament in New Orleans. Anxiety is growing by the day, but expect a full rundown of the plan before I leave on Wednesday. I'm going to try to take my laptop with me as well and blog about it on the road.