Random Stuff I would've twittered but can't

Remember how I hated Twitter back in the day when everyone else adopted it and I found it stupid? Yeah, me neither. Now, I'm so used to plugging in a few random thoughts a day, and reading everyone else's, that when Twitter goes off the rails (as it currently is) I feel...mentally constipated. Actually that is not really the right word since a tweet is more like a fart than anything more substantial. So I guess I feel mentally bloaty. Considering that I feel physically bloaty today too, that's pretty par for the course.

Anyhow, things I would've tweeted today but can't:

* Subway's sweet onion chicken teriyaki ain't half bad. Yes, I recognize I am like 3 years too late on this phenomenon, but I fear change.

* All day I have felt like I am mere seconds from falling asleep. I got 8 hours of sleep last night, but it appears to not matter for some reason. I am terrified I will be caught dozing in my office.

* You know how like everyone pronounces the word angina (cardiac chest pain) so that it rhymes with vagina? Well, cardiologists don't do that. They call it ann-gen-uh, not annj-eye-nuh. So don't sound like a moron by pronouncing it the way I used to. (I also had a friend who insisted on pronouncing Orangina as Orang-eye-na because he thought it was funny. It was not.)

* So after the verbal smackdown from yesterday the ex went back to emailing me like nothing was different, about some mutual friend of ours from college who he found on Facebook. Interesting tactic, buddy, but it's not going to work. DELETE.

* Which makes me sound more insane--ripping apart my closet trying on 42 outfits to pick one to wear on a date and leaving them all on the floor of my bedroom when I finally pick one and leave...or trying on all 42 outfits the night BEFORE and picking one out ahead of time? You guys don't know how good you have it, not having to agonize over your clothing choices like we do. At least I am resisting the urge to go out and buy an entirely new outfit. So far.

* I love ice cream, but I don't want to eat a quart a day, so I buy weird rich flavors that I can only have a tiny bit of before I am sated and can't eat anymore. This is why I love Haagen Dazs' new line of extra fancy ice cream flavors. They are some weirdass combinations like pomegranate and chocolate, or my current pint--Toasted Coconut and Sesame Brittle. Yes, it sounds strange as hell but it is SO good. Two spoonfuls a night (OK, maybe three) and I am all set with the sweet tooth.

* Now that the chemical burn's remnants are finally gone I feel like my skin looks better than ever. I guess that is the upside, I got a free chemical peel. But that week of ickiness really, really sucked.

* Now that temperatures are back in the 90s, my office's temperature is back into the low 60s. Seriously, what is this ridiculousness? I have to put a sweater on over my sweater today, I'm so cold. And I'm not one of those scrawny bitches who is cold when it dips below 90, either. I am FREEZING today. This is stupid.

That's all for now. I hope Twitter is back up soon so that I can spew my mental flatulence elsewhere.