So impending doom either brings out the horny in people...

...or I had some crazy powerful pheromones on Saturday.

After Tornadoes 2: the sequel passed through the city, I went to the usual Ye Olde Waterin' Hole for to drink away my awful stressful week. I got there about 4:30, and within an hour the guy who told me a few months ago that I have DSLs (which I later learned was short for "dick sucking lips") referred to me as a kitty cat. I just rolled my eyes and walked away.

About an hour later, as I started in on beer #3, I decided to go play my favorite video game. (It involves shooting live game and while I could never kill a furry thing with a gun in real life, I can certainly shoot me some computerized deer.) As I was playing, this guy in his early 20's who appeared to get lost on his way to the bathroom wandered to the little back room where the videogames were located. He watched me play for awhile and was clearly hitting on me (asked where my boyfriend was, etc.) but I didn't flirt back at all and thought he would get the message. Apparently my message was not so clear, because within 5 minutes he randomly walked over and started kissing my neck! I asked him what the hell he was doing (pretty much exactly like that--"what the hell are you doing?!") and he responded that he thought we were going to make out. I started laughing and shaking my head and said something like I need guys to work a little harder than that before I'll make out with them. He sort of shrugged sheepishly and then as I kept playing the game he watched for awhile longer and then left. About 45 minutes later, he and a woman who appeared to be his girlfriend judging by her reference to him as "honey" came in to pay their tab. So, this dumbass just tried to randomly make out with a woman he just met at 6pm on a Saturday with his girlfriend in the same bar. Say wha?

If that wasn't frazzling enough, shortly thereafter while I was at the jukebox another young guy came over and started trying to chat it up about my music selections. This was so perplexing to me that I wondered for a second if I weren't part of one of those sophomoric bets that are the stuff of bad teen movies--like let's all go see which of us can go make out with that old hag over there, etc. I just laughed the second youngster off. A few hours later a guy attempted to grope me as I walked to the bathroom, and that one I also laughed off. And then the evening closed with an uncomfortable discussion with yet another guy who I'd never even consider hooking up with no matter how much I had to drink. Who knew too baggy jeans and a purple wifebeater tank top were the hottest outfit in my closet?

This sort of thing almost never happens to me, and certainly not four or five times in one night. The only explanation I can find is that all the terror over whether we were gonna die from the tornadoes had inspired a desire for some, uh, "life-affirming" activity in the menfolk in and around Virginia Highland. It was that, or someone secretly wrote "THIS CHICK IS EASY" on my forehead and I didn't notice.

You'd think it would have been flattering to get so much attention, but I just found it puzzling and annoying. No sense in wasting my attraction on people who I don't want to attract. It's about as useless as getting hit on by married men--I'm not going to take the bait, so I'd just prefer not to even get the offer.