Randomness embodied

It's funny how when I'm absolutely swamped at work it seems like there is no shortage of blog-worthy news or topics, but as soon as I actually have a little breathing room my mind goes as blank as Paris Hilton's.

As you no doubt noticed by now, I was pretty well underwater for the last few weeks. I was working extremely late nights even on the weekends, I was sleeping too little, I had developed what sure felt like an ulcer, and I started despairing about whether I want to live this life anymore. That question still lingers, but I feel now with a couple days of decent sleep and a workday that ended at 7pm like I can afford to wait awhile and decide it on my own terms.

Of course it doesn't hurt that just in the knick of time (is it nick or knick?) my boss decided to be concerned and supportive and just generally exactly what I needed out of her, even though I rarely even get to see her in person these days. But she both encouraged vacation and praised my recent efforts, and gave me lots of helpful and positive feedback on my being on course for an associate at my senior level who has to think about the dreaded S word (rhymes with "hairholder") in a year or so. I still don't know if that's what I ultimately want, but it was nice to hear the encouragement to stay on that path. Plenty of associates at my level of seniority are getting far less encouraging and far less subtle signs about their prospects or lack thereof at this point in their careers.

So I don't know if I've been sucked back in completely or not, but I don't feel like jumping out the window anymore and my stomach no longer feels like a roiling volcano of acidity, so that's nice. I have developed a strange visual anomaly that I think I've decided is part of a new onset of optical migraines when I have PMS. This would explain the vertigo 2 months ago and why my physical and migraine were completely normal. The bad part is that I have other friends who have experienced late-onset hormonal migraines and it has gotten unbearable for them. I don't really want to go through that.

My dad also had a recent health scare, though that sounds like it may be due to new physician ineptitude rather than an actual health issue. After having low cholesterol his whole life, low to the point of freakishness, his doctor now says it's 255. He is requesting a second test, but if it really is that high then I am going to have to start really watching my own cholesterol instead of presuming that good genes would carry me along. Sadly, like most cooks I love real butter way too much and have a hard time cutting it out. I'm also scared for my dad, who at 62 years old is a prime candidate for heart disease even though he is in fantastic shape. And it makes me scared for other guys I know who have even more risk factors but who don't want to take the risk seriously.

I am quite proud that yesterday I got my mother to actually shop at and purchase clothes from designer stores. If you knew my mom you'd know this was a major milestone! My parents are going to Italy in August for an early 40th anniversary present, and my mom really wanted some cute and trendy clothes. I got her to buy 2 outfits from Michael Kors including an adorable empire waist dress (unlike me, my mom has the perfect figure for empire waist--small up top, a little hippy on the bottom) that she fought me on until she actually put it on and my dad's jaw just dropped. It was really adorable to see that interaction between them. I was lucky to grow up with such a great example of a lifetime love affair. Now if only my mom would take me up on my offer to get her hair colored to take away the grey, she'd look 10 years younger at least.

I made a cherry pie last night on a whim and holy crap was it good! I cut a bunch of pitted bing cherries up and mixed them with some prebought Williams-Sonoma cherry pie/cobbler filling, and then just used a Pillsbury pie crust. I wasn't prepared for how long a pie has to bake and I kinda overdid the filling, but it still tasted fantastic. I'm thinking of having some folks over for dinner this week as a way to use up the pie before I eat it all. I do love my cherry pie. No, not in the dirty way.

I guess that's it. I know this is rambly, but I really got nothing of actual consequence to say these days. Everyone's out of town, I've been both bored and miserable, and the news topics have all been played out to death.