2010 Year in Review

Everyone is doing it, and I stole this from Darcey.

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?
Went to Las Vegas, twice! Took a two day solo beach vacation. Became part of the law firm ruling class. Drank Chartreuse, which is terrible. Attended basketball and baseball playoff games (football to come in early 2011). And this one other little thing that I can't blog about because it's WAY too personal.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Lord, I don't even want to remember my resolutions, but I'm sure I didn't keep most of them. I didn't save money or lose weight, although I didn't gain any either (and that was a big concern throughout the year.) I know I wanted to try a half marathon by year end, but yet again it didn't happen. Maybe in 2011.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
At one point this year, I knew eight women who were all pregnant. It has felt like an oppressive plague bearing down upon every woman I know. Two have given birth, one 10 weeks early and the other on time. Six more to go between February and June! I have never been more careful about taking my pills in my entire life.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No, although we thought both of my grandparents might at various times this year. I listened to "Fairytale of New York" on the drive to my parents' house for Christmas and started crying at the line "and an old man said to me / won't see another one," because it made me think of my grandpa. I doubt he will make it to next Christmas. My grandma, however, will probably live to be 100.

5. What countries did you visit?
Sadly, just the U.S. on my dancecard this year. I'm hoping 2011 will include New Zealand.

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you didn’t have in 2010?
A stable, serious relationship with a boy with crinkly eyes, a nice smile, and an IQ in the triple digits. And a victory at my trial in May.

7. What dates from 2010 will be etched upon your memory, and why?
January 31st (not sayin' why). September 1st, the day I was made Of Counsel by my firm. November 27th, the FSU-UF football game I attended with my father. December 20th, an amazing birthday celebration and bluegrass show at Diesel that I attended. December 27th, the epic Falcons-Saints game that I attended.

8. What was your biggest achievement of this year?
Working really hard, becoming a key member of my team again, and being rewarded by elevation to Of Counsel and a nice raise. A close second would be finally cutting a toxic situation out of my life for good.

9. What was your biggest failure?
I really tried to recapture my 2009 success on Weight Watchers and using the treadmill, and I just couldn't find the time. I have to find a way to make this a part of my life again next year.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I was sick once or twice early in the year and in October with colds. I had UTIs in April and December. Nothing major, though, thank God.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My new iPad. Easily. A customized Falcons jersey that brought someone special to me
great joy was a close second.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Far too many friends to list here...and I have to give major props to my boss, who forced the firm to make me Of Counsel mid-year when they initially had told her I'd have to wait until sometime in January. She steamrolled it through like a champ.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
More Republicans than I care to count. A coworker who nearly made someone quit with particularly vitriolic criticism. The voters of Georgia.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Mortgage, car payment, veterinarian bills, and traveling. I spent a LOT of money on my two gambling trips this year. (But worth it.)

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Vegas, and the Braves, and the Falcons, and FSU football. And a boy...sometimes.

16. What song will always remind you of 2010?
I'm not sure I can associate a song with this year. Maybe the gospel choir singing in Samuel L. Jackson's "Rise Up" commercials for the Falcons?

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?
a) Happier, not that I was unhappy at this time last year. But things all feel on the right track for the most part. Kitty health issues are the only thing worse than this time last year.
b) Exactly the same.
c) Richer, but not by much.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Exercise, definitely. And cooking at home. And saving money. And snuggling my kitty, which I now feel like I will never have had enough of.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Eating and drinking. And spending. Moderation is the theme in 2011.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
We had my entire family over for dinner in the early afternoon, with me and my mother cooking all morning to prepare. Then everyone left because of the snow, and we watched Star Wars together and just basked in the beauty of my first White Christmas ever.

21. Did you fall in love in 2010?
No. I'm scared to fall in love right now.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
Dexter, probably. Mad Men, True Blood, Project Runway and Chuck are up there too. The Walking Dead was my favorite new show.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Hate is the wrong word. Reached a place of lacking in any emotion towards...yeah, that.

24. What was the best book you read?
Probably the Blind Side. I only read 3 or 4 books this year.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Langhorne Slim. I'd heard his stuff before, but his live show at the Earl back in the fall was a total revelation. Also, exposure to older Neko Case was an amazing gift to my life this year.

26. What did you want and get?
Laid. :) Also, travel with good friends, an iPad, a new HDTV for the guest room. And more time with my grandparents even though it was touch and go for awhile.

27. What did you want and not get?
Relationshiped-up. :( Also, the benches in my front porch to finally be built, a clean bill of health for my cat, and most frustratingly...closure.

28. What was your favorite film of 2010?
I cannot even remember what movies I saw this year. Crazy Heart? That was probably my favorite.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 35. I went to dinner with my friend Jen, then went and got a little crazy at the bar with a boy.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
To have gotten back into regular exercise and lost another 20 pounds. I felt more accomplishment from that one feat last year than I did from making Of Counsel this year.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept of 2010?
Same as it ever was. When I like it, I know it.

32. What kept you sane?
Alcohol and good friends.

33. What political issue stirred you the most?
I cannot even think about politics this year, it has been so disheartening to watch everything fall apart.

34. Who did you miss?
My best friend Samantha.

35. Who was the best new person you met?
Paul. (Technically we first met in late 2009 but just once, the rest was all this year.)

36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.
There is really so little that I absolutely cannot do.

37. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
From Guster's "Do You Love Me":
I wanna wake you from your dream
I wanna know who you're talking to
when you're singing in your sleep
I wanna find out what it means
This song has been stuck in my head for weeks.

So, yeah

I'm still around but it's going to be far less frequent going forward. Too much else in my life demanding my time right now: work, dying cat (more on that in a bit), personal entanglements, more work, etc.

I would apologize for my scarcity, but I really don't feel all that bad about it. It is a good thing to be too busy to have time to document my life here, and since I primarily used this place as catharsis when I had far more to whine about than I currently do, I instead see my lack of time or interest in blogging to mean that I am in less need of therapy than previously might have been recommended. Maybe? Let me dream for a bit, OK?

So I mentioned the dying cat, and that is something I've been reluctant to blog about precisely because it is so upsetting to me. As I posted about last year, Claudio has had an ongoing puking problem for almost 2 years now. Last year, he developed Chylothorax, which is lymphatic fluid in his chest, of unknown origin. I spent a lot of money to hospitalize him for a week and then it sort of magically got better, but the puking continued. I thought about taking him to the vet for more tests, but he seemed for the most part fine despite the puke problem (which admittedly is not ideal for the appearance of my house, but still.) I also was afraid they would want to run numerous expensive tests that would continue to reveal nothing about what was causing the problem.

Then, back in November, Claudio started pooping on the floor. He was doing it every day, and I read online that often cats do this because they are feeling ill and are trying to find a way to tell their owners. I started thinking more seriously about taking him to the vet. Then, one night a few days later, I was rubbing his belly while he was laying on my desk, and I felt something hard in his abdomen. It concerned me. I decided I would take him later that week, and he suddenly started acting like he felt awful. He was hiding under the guest bed, not eating very much, and moving very slowly. I made a vet appointment. The vet initially thought the mass I felt in his belly was just feces, and that he likely had irritable bowel syndrome after seeing some thickening of his intestine on X-ray. I went home to await the results of bloodwork, after he got some IV fluids.

Two days later the cat was not only feeling better, but I noticed that his left pupil was permanently dilated as compared to his right. In humans, differences in pupil size is nearly always a sign of serious neurological conditions (stroke, brain tumor, etc.) so this was an emergency. I took him back to the vet, and they said it could be Horner's Syndrome, a neurological condition that can be caused by infections, trauma, or tumors that result in pressure on the optic nerve that causes the dilation. He had an ear that was very sensitive and had fluid in it suggestive of ear infection, so they gave me antibiotics and told me he would hopefully get better once the infection in his ear was cleared up. I was also supposed to bring him back in a couple days for an abdominal ultrasound, because his bloodwork had been for the most part normal and they wanted to look at his intestine.

The ultrasound was finally performed, and revealed what I had been afraid of all along: a large abdominal mass either very near or wrapped around his intestines, and another spot on his liver. The vet took a sample of fluid from the mass for testing, and told me that the most likely cause of the mass was lymphoma. She started him on steroids, and told me that I could consider chemotherapy, steroid therapy alone, or do nothing. It sounded like his options ranged from a few weeks at best to potentially much longer if the chemotherapy was a success.

I'll spare you the details of some uncertainty that was injected into the diagnosis, but the steroids worked wonders--his eyes returned to normal and he was acting like his old happy self the next day. A week later the vet did a second ultrasound, and already the mass had shrunk. Though I lacked a definitive diagnosis, she told me that nothing else would have reacted so well to steroids, other than cancer. So, my kitty has lymphoma and is living on borrowed time. The vet hopes that I will get 3-6 months with him while on the steroids before they stop working, the tumor starts growing again, and he has to be put to sleep. I decided against the chemotherapy because the cat would hate it, it is insanely expensive, and ultimately in about half the cases it doesn't really prolong the cat's life that much anyhow.

He is his old sweet self, waking me up early every morning with plaintive wails for food, scratching all leather shoes and all wooden doorways, curling up next to me every night to purr while we sleep, and generally being adorable. I have to give him liquid steroids every day, which he became a total shit about taking via syringe by mouth, so I mix them into some milk. He is eating well and seems to have no obvious signs of a problem, other than a stomach that growls loudly for at least an hour after he eats.

He is on borrowed time, and my fervent desire to make sure I spend as much time with him as I can in the little time we have left together is yet another reason I never post anymore. I will miss this cat so much when is gone, that I can already feel the heartache. I'm scared of exactly how hard it will be. He has been with me for 9 years, through multiple breakups, a layoff, a move from Boston to Atlanta, an ice storm in which I had no power for three cold days, and so much more. He has been my constant little slice of happiness ever since we got him from a shelter a month after 9/11. And soon, way too soon, I will have to make the terrible decision to end his life before he suffers too much. It's going to be awful.

In which I explain my sports mojo

I've written about this before, many years ago, but here's a refresher course for those of you who weren't reading then: I am a super duper lucky charm for a city's sports teams. Don't believe me?

In 1993, I moved to Tallahassee to attend FSU. They won the national championship. They played for the national championship four more times that decade, winning it again in 1999. I had moved away back then, and thus began a decade of awfulness.

The summer of 1995, I was back in Orlando (my hometown) working at Disney World for the summer, and the Orlando Magic made it to the NBA Finals in just their 5th year of existence. (They did get swept in the Finals, but I was only in Orlando for 2 short months so my lucky effect probably had not built up enough by then.)

In 1997, I moved to Boston for law school. The Red Sox were mediocre, the Patriots were mediocre, the Celtics were awful. It took a few years for it to kick in, but in 2002 the Patriots won their first of three Super Bowls championships in four years. In 2004 the Red Sox broke an 86 year curse on their way to 2 World Series championships in four years. And in 2008 the Celtics even won a championship, the culmination of a rebuilding that started while I was still there.

In fall of 2005 I moved to Georgia, just after the Atlanta Braves made the playoffs for the last of their amazing 14 year postseason streak. In February 2006 I formally moved to Atlanta, and slowly began switching my allegiances to Atlanta sports teams. The first to go was football, because I was really bothered by the Patriots' taping/cheating scandal. Then went basketball, because I liked the young, raw talent of the Hawks and their tremendous upside. But I'd been holding onto my Red Sox love, and had a really hard time giving it up. I had been through hell and bliss with my Sox, and I just wasn't sure I could root for any other team. Still, at the start of this season, I decided I had to do it. The Braves needed me, and I told everyone I was on board.

Needless to say, it's helping. The Braves just returned to the postseason for the first time since 2005 despite having the wheels nearly fall off due to numerous injuries to critical players. The Hawks have made it to the playoffs three years in a row, and should have a very good team this year again. The Falcons made the playoffs two years ago, broke the curse of never having back to back winning seasons with their 9-7 record last year (after Matt Ryan's injury), and look great this year--so great that they have become a very trendy sleeper Super Bowl pick. I have no idea when the championships will come, but within the next five years, I think any one of the Braves, Hawks or Falcons could win it all. Maybe all three.

When I moved to Atlanta in 2006, none of our major sports teams were in the postseason. The Braves were going into rebuilding mode, the Falcons were dealing with the Michael Vick saga, and the Hawks were still a young team that had been nothing to write home about for over a decade. Since then, all 3 have made the postseason at least once, and this year we should have all 3 in the postseason in the same year. Meanwhile, the Patriots have stopped winning Super Bowls, and the Red Sox failed to make the postseason this year. Boston's reign as supreme sports town is drawing to a close, while Atlanta's is just beginning.

You can all thank me later.

Atlanta Floods: NEVER FORGET

While I'm on this nostalgia kick, someone mentioned on Twitter this morning that this is the anniversary of the Atlanta floods of a year ago. And lo and behold, the AJC has a retrospective up. Check it out, and relive the insanity, heartbreak and ALL THAT WATER.

Something About September

In 2005, I quit my job on the Friday before Labor Day weekend and spent the rest of the month trying to get the hell out of Dodge (aka Boston) before the rapidly-approaching winter. One of the most popular songs on the radio at that time was Green Day's "When September Ends," and it felt quite fitting to be asking the universe to hurry up and get me through this month and out of this life I had decided I didn't want anymore.

Fast-forward four years, and in September of 2009 my life was about to experience numerous earthquakes but I didn't realize it just yet. Two co-workers had left and a partner had announced he was leaving the practice of law altogether. I had taken on some of their responsibilities, and out of the blue I had also received a phone call from a federal goverment agency asking me to interview for the same job I had interviewed for in January, because I had been their #2 choice but the guy they had chosen to hire had decided to jump agencies just 6 months after starting. They were only interviewing me and one other guy, and they wanted to move quickly, so it seemed like getting hired was a VERY real possibility. At the very same time, I knew my coworker was in the final stages of interviewing for a fantastic opportunity elsewhere. We joked just before the Labor Day weekend about wanting to be the first of the two of us to give notice, because the rash of departures had started to freak people out. (Ultimately, she got the call first and put in her notice a year ago tomorrow, and I didn't get the nod for the government job because they were concerned I would decide to leave after a year or two in order to earn more money. They were probably right.)

Because the government job would have paid a lot less than my current job, my parents decided I needed to buy my house from them (long story made slightly less long: when we found my house I wasn't yet working and didn't qualify for a good mortgage rate, but they did, so they were the official buyers but I paid the mortgage for the first 3.5 years), and found a way through a mortgage broker to make this happen. We locked in a rate in late September, and a month later we closed and I took on the crushing debt load of my very own. We also discovered during this time that my roof was leaking (right after the Atlanta floods last year, September 18-22) and some other renovations were needed, so we hired a builder and started planning for the renovations that began in October.

At the same time, I had been talking off and on since July with a guy who I wanted to go out with and I was pretty sure he wanted to go out with me too, but despite a few abortive attempts to meet up somewhere we still had not yet gone out face to face. We shared a mutual friend (who had actually tried to set us up a year earlier but I said no), and she finally talked to me and then talked to him and basically found a way to push us both into getting the hell on with it, already. Right around this time we finally started talking on the phone and made plans for our first date, plans that I would ultimately have to cancel because I got sick. We ended up going out for the first time later in September, and having a great time. It was the start of something different and exciting. (Things didn't work out in the end, but it was still a VERY fun fall...)

I was about to become insanely busy at work, and I was about to get sick 5 times in 6 months (likely because of said work insanity.) Because of that sickness streak and my limited free time due to work, I would stop working out for more than six months and gain back half of the 20 pounds I had lost from March to September of last year. I would stop having time to go play poker on Thursdays, to go out with friends on Friday nights, to visit my family on Sundays, or to do anything but work all the damn time. I knew things were about to become difficult, but I had no idea just how difficult, yet.

I was also about to experience a fundamental realignment of my social circle. At the end of September I recall driving with a close friend, listening to a sad song about goodbyes and regret that suddenly brought forth the tears. I didn't know why I was crying, yet. I knew things needed to change and had already started to, but I didn't realize that what really needed to happen was finality, an ending. That earthquake came in October. But on that late September day, part of me already knew, and was already recording that moment, as one place I may never go in my life again.

Looking back now, a year ago I was on the brink of everything. I had no idea at the time how fundamental the changes would be, but it got me here, and for that I am grateful. The last year has put me in such a better place, and this September I am just hoping that I can keep building on the positive change of a year ago. Through a combination of my crash Vegas diet and a week of being sick, I've lost enough weight that my low point from last year is once again in sight and I'm inspired to keep going. I have met some fascinating and truly amazing guys in the last year, and made some fantastic new friends while strengthening existing friendships with others. I was promoted at work and got a raise after I really rededicated myself to my job and I ended up with a house that love and put my own mark on forever.

Septembers are always full of change for me, but as I sit here today reflecting on all the positive change that started a year ago, I just can't wait to see what happens next.

Oh, hey

I nearly forgot to mention, for any of you who are not Twitter followers (those folks knew 2 wks ago)...

The night before I left for my vacation, I found out I was being made Of Counsel at my firm. This is something I initially asked for at the end of last year but was told that the timing was no good, and I thought I'd have to wait until the end of this year. But then my boss decided that since I was busting my ass extra hard in 2010, she would push to make them do it in mid-year. It almost didn't work, but they caved. This is sort of like "making partner" but not...it's a promotion to being one of the leaders of my group, and some job security to an extent, but I still have to keep busting ass and see if they make me a shareholder next year if that's what I decide I'm after. (If someone knows the answer to this question, can you clue me in?) It did come with a sweet raise, although with cuts over the last 2 years this has really just brought me back to my starting point.

At many times over the last 4 1/2 years I have thought about jumping ship, as I have blogged about here from time to time with varying stages of vagueness, but as I look back I'm SO glad I didn't. Once in awhile, sticking it out through something tough and finding a way to turn it around and make it work really does pay off. I wish more people would realize that when they become unhappy with where they're at.

Today I got the handbook they give to new Shareholders and Of Counsels. I spent an hour reading it, and was sad to learn there were no secrets in there. They must save the good shit for verbal telling only, never to be committed to paper.

Sadly, I have to become a shareholder before I'll get to go to the annual retreat in Vegas with the crazy parties. I am now not eligible until end of 2011 at the earliest. But I'm 100% fine with that.

Quick and Dirty

I have no time or enthusiasm for blogging anymore, obviously. But I just can't bring myself to shut this place down. So, we do a quick and dirty update since the last post pre-vacation:

* I played in one poker tournament in Biloxi. Finished somewhere in the high 40's, and top 27 got paid. I had terrible cards for most of the day so even lasting that long was really surprising, and actually made me feel pretty good about my effort. I had nothing to work with, but I made it work well enough to outlast some really good players.

* The sexism in poker still gets to me, but I'm finally used to it now. I actually had a guy lay down pocket queens to my bet, and it was an older guy who had been super-flirty with me to that point. (He saw me on my cell phone at the break and asked if I was "texting with my boyfriend," kept calling me "hot stuff," etc.) Now he said he was laying them down because he had gotten burned with them several times already, and I think that was at least partially true. But I also think he was trying to do me a favor, which is fairly condescending. Of course, I had pocket jacks so I was happy for the fold, but I didn't tell him that. He had been very chatty with the whole table, trying to play the "I'm just a dumb first timer, you must be really good at this" role...meanwhile before the tournament started he was bitching about how lousy the comps were for poker players when he had gambled over $2mil. in MGM owned casinos in the last year. So, notsomuch.

* It was raining when I got to Pensacola the first day of my vacation, so I decided not to play in the Tuesday poker tournament and instead stayed all morning in Fla. to get a nice long walk on the beach in before I had to leave. It was wonderful. Despite normally not being a big Hampton Inn fan, I have to give it up for the Hampton Inn on Pensacola Beach--it is way nicer than most of the chain and I would totally stay there again. Although their "heated pool" was so cold I nearly died.

* I ate at a restaurant on the beach called Peg Leg Pete's--also highly recommended. The food was delicious and the company was good too. However, I did have an older retired couple from GA there start talking to me about why they moved to Pensacola, and at one point the guy did a quick look around the bar and then just launched into an incredibly racist statement. (Something about how the locals all call this one beach "chicken wing beach" because "that kind" hang out there.) I hate it when things like this happen, because I realize it would do no good to chide him for saying it, but I also don't want to be complicit in his racism and act like it doesn't bother me. So, inevitably, I end up sitting there with an uncomfortable look on my face, hoping he will realize he shouldn't have said it but that I am too polite or weak or whatever to flat out call him out for it. And then I wrapped up my drinking and left soon thereafter.

* In Biloxi, I lost a lot of money and ate a wonderful meal at Mary Mahoney's, as is my annual tradition. Still the best seafood gumbo I have EVER had. However, they cannot make a gimlet to save their damn lives. Here's a hint: it should not be over ice, and it should not be fizzy.

* After Biloxi, I drove back to attend a friend's show at Smith's, and the next morning on little sleep and much hangover, I flew to Vegas. We stayed at the Mandalay Bay this time, and I much preferred it to the MGM Grand where I stayed in May. I again lost money, but had a couple big slot machine wins ($350 oncer, $200 at the airport) and some good blackjack play. However, overall the trip was pricey because my gambling would swing hard in both directions. Not as bad as T., who was with us, and who lost $800 in about 20 minutes on 8 $100 hands of blackjack! LIVING THE DREAM.

* We ate our way through Vegas, and that seriously has to be the best foodie town in the universe. First night we had Border Grill mexican food that was delicious, the next day we had Burger Bar for lunch (it says a lot that this very tasty meal ended up being the least impressive of the trip but was still good), then Nobu for dinner where SOME PEOPLE ordered kobe beef steaks cooked over hot rocks at $32 an ounce, then the next day for lunch I had a lamb burger and fried dill pickles at BLT Burger that was TO DIE FOR, and finally we finished it off with an excellent Russian fusion tasting menu at Red Square. All of it was yummy.

* Good thing I went on that "crash vegas" diet...I lost 7 pounds in 17 days, and I wasn't even trying that hard for the last week or so. But I gained 4 right back in Vegas! (I've taken off 2 of those in the last week since I've been back and hitting the treadmill again.) This really inspired me to rededicate, because I do feel so much better when I am working out 4 days a week at least. Also, with the cooler weather, I am going to try walking outside on weekends more often. I still hope to get myself half-marathon ready by January...

* The craziest moment of the entire Vegas experience was when I realized while eating lunch at BLT Burger in the Mirage that my wallet was gone. I didn't know if I had dropped it, been pickpocketed, or left it in the cab I had arrived in 45 minutes earlier. I have to give major, major props to the staff of the Mirage, who got the security folks to find the cab number of the cab I got out of through their security camera footage, called the cab company and fought their way through the labyrynthic maze to reach the driver, and discovered that he had my wallet and made arrangements for him to bring it back to me. It completely saved my vacation, and then I tipped the entire world for their help. I will also probably stay at the Mirage next time I am in town, because I feel like I owe them for going over the top for me when I was not even a guest on their property.

* Speaking of next time, there is already a movement afoot to go back for Thanksgiving. I don't think I can afford it!

* This was only my second "real vacation" (i.e. not a long weekend or Christmas/Thanksgiving holiday trips home to family) since I graduated from law school. Twice I have managed to take an entire week off from work, in 10 years. This is sad. This needs to be remedied.

Gone fishin'

I'm headed today to Pensacola Beach, FL for one night, then tomorrow for Biloxi for my third year playing in the Gulf Coast Poker Championship. I'll be back briefly on Thursday night to see a friend's bluegrass band play at Smith's Olde Bar (come join us!) and then on Friday morning I head to Vegas.

I hope to have interesting tales to tell next week. And to not be completely broke ass.

Lather, Rinse, Repeat

I could write a whole new post about Sarah Palin's ridiculous tweet that Dr. Laura's 1st amendment rights are being violated because people complained she used the N-word 11 times on a show last week...but why bother? I already wrote the exact same post last year when she made the same ridiculously inaccurate claim about Carrie Prejean. So, lather, rinse, repeat...here's last year's post in its entirety:

There are many things that make me crazy, but today's crazy-maker is a legal issue:

People who cite "free speech" or the 1st Amendment as justification for expressing unpopular political or social opinions make me crazy.

For starters, the 1st Amendment only prohibits restrictions on the freedom of speech that are imposed by the government. Let's read the text of the First Amendment, shall we? It's pretty short, so it should be easy to understand:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

The "Congress shall make no law" part of the amendment is pretty clear. (The Constitution originally only restricted federal government action, but was been held applicable to state and local government action through the fourteenth amendment's equal protection provisions.)

So, pursuant to the First Amendment, your federal, state or local government is not allowed to tell you that you can't espouse the view that Barack Obama is inferior because he is black. But a private individual can throw you out of their home or shout at you in the street for saying that. A company can fire you for saying that at work, or a store manager can ask you to leave and ban you from their property. A private organization like Kiwanis can expel you from the membership. "Free speech" and the first amendment have no force of law anywhere other than in government.

(Even in government, "content-neutral" restrictions on speech are often upheld, such as when a government prohibits protesting in the middle of a busy street because it could cause a traffic jam that creates a safety hazard. Such a restriction would generally be permissible regardless of whether it prohibited a Nazi protest or people who want you to honk for more breast cancer research funding.)

Now everyone's favorite Constitutional scholar, Sarah Palin, has claimed that Carrie Prejean (Miss California), was just trying to assert her protected First Amendment rights when she answered in the Miss USA pageant that she believes gay marriage is wrong according to the bible.

“I respect Carrie for standing strong and staying true to herself, and for not letting those who disagree with her deny her protection under the nation’s First Amendment Rights,” Palin said.

“Our Constitution protects us all — not just those who agree with the far left.”

Governor Palin apparently does not understand that despite being called "Miss USA," the pageant organization has no government affiliation and is in fact owned by Donald Trump's corporate empire. Thus, the pageant is not governed by the Constitution and can punish Prejean for her views however they chose to do so, including not awarding her the crown because she wasn't apparently smart enough to give a more diplomatic answer. The television, print and online media entities that excoriated Prejean were also not Constitutionally bound not to criticize Prejean. The Miss California USA organization could have fired her if they wanted to, without any Constitutional impediment. The First Amendment does not protect anything that Carrie Prejean said during the pageant competition or at any time since, unless she said it in a government building or on government property and I just missed it. Last time I checked, nobody is claiming that Prejean was prevented by any governmental entity from speaking about her views.

It figures that a bubbleheaded beauty queen known for her intolerance would feel the need to speak out in support of someone whose attributes must have seemed mighty familiar. It would have been nice if a sitting Governor who considered herself qualified to be Vice President had bothered to actually read and understand the Constitution she has been charged with upholding and defending, before she claimed that it protected Prejean in the Miss USA pageant.

The Crash Vegas Diet

Having planned my vacation for the last week of August, I am faced with needing to wear a swimsuit in public in two weeks for my one night on a Florida beach, and then 5 days later while in Vegas lazing about the pool at the Mandalay Bay. But I've been a bad Sara, and do not currently feel swimsuit-worthy. The answer? A challenge to myself to see if I can drop 5 pounds by the time I leave for Vegas on Sept. 3rd.

Luckily, being tall and weighing more generally means that stringing together several pounds lost in 2.5 weeks is not as hard for me as it is for some. The bad part of that is, it takes more to make a noticeable difference. So, how am I going to do it?

1. I'm eating under 1400 calories a day. This is not that hard to do for me, but I'm going to accomplish it by eating as many fruits and vegetables as I can, and cutting meat out of my diet as much as I can for the next 17 days. I will still eat seafood, however, because it's just too hard for me to go full vegetarian. The usual breakdown of a day will look like this:

Breakfast: fruit and a diet coke, possibly with greek yogurt
Lunch: Salad or sandwich of some sort from takeout, or a frozen Lean Cuisine/Healthy Choice/etc. meal
Afternoon snack: 100 calorie popcorn bag, fruit, carrots
Dinner: takeout sushi, margherita pizza, or if I'm really good a homecooked meal of mostly vegetables with possibly some seafood.
Dessert: Sorbet du jour (I am currently obsessed with sorbet)

2. I'm spending an hour a day, EVERY DAY, on the treadmill. No ifs ands or buts. However, over the next 17 days I am giving myself 2 days off as needed for work purposes.

3. I'm doing 100 sit-ups every single morning or night. Gotta get some ab muscles back in evidence.

4. Drinking no more than twice a week, light beer or wine only. I bet you were thinking that sample menu up there looked mighty light, right? Well, I have to save the calories for an adult beverage now and then. Also the occasional inescapable chocolate craving.

I'll let you know on September 2nd how I've done...

Vacation Plans Update

So, things changed a little bit in the last couple weeks as I planned my vacation for the last week of August. I am probably NOT going to the Florida gulf coast because cost has become somewhat prohibitive. (Beach house rentals in FL are EXPENSIVE despite the whole oil spill thingee!) Instead, I will probably drive or fly straight to Biloxi on Monday for 3 days of poker tournament goodness and fun with my friend Susan (and technically it's on a beach so that should fulfill my beach-fix) thanks to free airfare and hotel deals from the Beau Rivage. I'll come back on Thursday, in time to see an awesome bluegrass band, Whoa Nelly, play at Smith's. (You should come if you're here in the ATL. Seriously. They are great.) And then early the next morning, I'll fly to Vegas for Labor Day weekend with some friends. I have free hotel offers there, too, so the only question is whether the airfare will become semi-reasonable before I give up and book a ticket. I may not even gamble all that much this time out...I probably will just hang by the pool during the days so that I resist the urge to give MGM/Mirage Corp. my hard-earned dollars. (Yeah, right.)

Woot! I'm looking forward to an entire week off. I just told my boss about it today, and she didn't balk. So it's as good as set in stone.

Help Me Plan My Vacation

I have decided to take the week leading up to Labor Day weekend off, for some sort of vacation. My friend Susan is going with some family to Biloxi in the middle of that week and has invited me to come along, and since a) there is a poker tournament that week and b) I have a million free hotel and airfare offers for the Beau Rivage anyhow, I've decided I will probably spend at least a few days down there. I also want to go visit a friend who moved to New Orleans a few months ago. And I need to satisfy my beach craving with a couple days on a beach somewhere. Can all of these things be combined into one 10 day journey? Also, a part of me just wants to fly to Vegas for Labor Day weekend. And my parents have been begging me to come up and spend a long weekend with them in the mountains.

Suggestions welcome, in particular as to beaches along the gulf coast that aren't befouled with oil and that have nice beachfront hotels.

Ridiculously Early FSU Football Predictions

Although I love baseball, this is around about the time when I start thinking about Labor Day weekend plans, and thus also find myself looking forward with eager anticipation to the start of the college football season. Because there is really nothing to do but wait, and because I have been devouring all the news I can find in the off-season about the upcoming inaugural season of the Jimbo Fisher Era at Florida State, I figured I would make some random prognostications.

Anticipated Final Regular Season Record: 9-3
Wins: Samford, BYU, Wake, Virginia, Boston College, N.C. State, Maryland
Losses: Oklahoma, Florida
Could Go Either Way (i.e. we'll win at least one and lose at least one, I just can't predict which ones): Clemson, Miami, UNC
We are absolutely, positively, 100% going to lose to Oklahoma. Anyone who thinks otherwise is dreaming. However, I do think we have a very good shot for the first time in awhile of beating Florida, though I couldn't in good conscience move it into the tossup category. But I won't be shocked at all if it happens. UNC would've been a much tougher game for us before Marvin Austin and possibly some other players got into a little agent trouble, so I feel much better about our chances of beating them but still couldn't call it a sure win yet. Similarly, a week ago I would've felt strongly about our chances against Clemson but that was when I assumed they'd have a freshman QB and not the very good Kyle Parker, who turned down a million dollar baseball signing bonus to return. So now Clemson could very easily beat us. Miami could be great this year or mediocre, and it is really too early to tell. I think we will probably lose to them because the game is in Miami, but we do always play them pretty tough and close, so I have to leave that one a tossup.

Will Christian Ponder win the Heisman? No, but he will put up the numbers that will make him a top 5 NFL draft pick. If he'd have a better defense behind him, he would be a top 3 Heisman candidate, but even with the improvement of a defense-heavy recruiting class and all new defensive coaching, our defense is likely to just go from terrible to mediocre. Not enough to propel us to the top 10, which is where Ponder would need to be in order to have a chance at the statue. He might get an invite to NYC, though, depending on how the other top candidates fare.

Which games am I attending? Right now I have hotel rooms booked for BYU, UNC and UF. I may throw Clemson in there too, depending on how the team is doing and whether I can get a hotel for that weekend. (Also, if my big trial goes in November I may have to cancel any hope of attending the UNC or Clemson games.) I also plan to actually tailgate this year if I can figure out where FSU fans tailgate. You UGA folks may find this strange, but we are not a big tailgating school. Most people roll up to the stadium right before the game starts, and the parking situation is sort of sporadic and spread out so there aren't a lot of places with great tailgate setups (although there are some.) However, we can walk around with open containers of alcohol, so in the past I have just shotgunned 2 or 3 beers on the walk from car to stadium (and then spent the game drunkenly feeling the liquid sloshing in my stomach while needing to pee. Fun!) But I like the tailgate concept, and would love to find a way to add it to my football experience. I think staying in Tallahassee, unlike my arrangements in years past, will probably help with that somewhat.

Will FSU win the ACC? We certainly can. If we lose only one ACC game, as I anticipate (and especially if it's to Miami or UNC who are not in our division), then we should at minimum make the title game. Many are predicting BC will win our division because they play UVA and Duke--the two patsies of the league--but we will probably beat BC and if we each only have one conference loss then the head to head game will be the tiebreaker. Having said that, whoever comes out of the other division--Va Tech, Miami, Ga Tech, or UNC--is going to be a pretty tough team to beat in the conference championship game. FSU can do it, but I can't predict that it will happen this year. I would love it if we somehow made it back to a BCS game, though.

Will I miss Bobby Bowden? Probably. I was a vocal critic who wanted him out years ago, but I also am eternally grateful to him for making FSU into a spectacular dynasty and putting us on the college football map. I will think of him fondly every time I walk by the statue outside Bobby Bowden field. But I am also so incredibly ready for the modern era of football as ushered in by Jimbo Fisher to finally get here. I am ready to start kicking Florida's ass again. I am ready to do the warchant and the tomahawk chop and to scream with joy for my team, rather than scaring small children with my stream of angry profanities (true story). I do not fear change, I embrace it. This is Jimbo's team now.

Do I regret renewing my season tickets? Not. For. A. Second. Hopefully I'll have made the jump in priority level by the time we have returned to our former glory! I am committed. Speaking of...

My newest infusion

Last night, I pitted over 1 pound of fresh bing cherries, enough to fill a massive mason jar half full of vodka all the way to the top. There is something so refreshing and satisfying about seeing that clear liquor turning red with the cherry juice (fittingly, I did this just before watching True Blood, using my "cherry guillotine" that lets me core 4 cherries at once). I have no idea how long the cherry vodka will need to infuse before it is ready, but I have very high hopes for this one. Even if I do either have to throw another party or find someone else's party to take it to just so that it all gets consumed.

I also have 2 more batches of the peach-cinnamon bourbon brewing, but those are already spoken for, headed for someone else's party and as a gift. If you want me to brew you up an infsuion for my Christmas gift to you, let me know and I will get one started before the fruits go out of season. It really is so easy and delicious, I am surprised I didn't think of this sooner.

Pictures to come soon.

So, I guess I'm back...kinda?

A long rambly multi-topic catchup post wherein I pretend all 3 of my remaining readers still care...

Last night I scrolled through my first two pages of posts and realized that was all I had so far for 2010, and it's nearly freakin August. This made me feel terrible about my chronic blog neglect. Luckily several massive projects completed either last week or Monday of this week, and so while I am certainly still swamped I no longer feel like I am swimming for the surface but just don't know if I will make it before I drown. Living in that feeling for the last 3 months, and in other spurts for most of the last 10 months, has really sucked. And I'm sure it will suck again soon.
...

So, like I said in the infusions post, I had 2 parties in June and July. It wasn't really the greatest idea I've ever had, but it's done now and it was for the most part fun. Also, crazy expensive. Also, this post from my dear friend Susan is like the greatest thing ever. Read it, learn it, live it.

I made so many different dishes it is hard to pick just one or two to share recipes for, but one is something I sort of invented based upon a suggestion from a friend, and it was delicious, and easy:

Feta-Stuffed Mini Peppers

2 packages of miniature red, yellow and orange peppers, tops removed, cleaned, split down one side
1 package of good feta cheese
olive oil, ideally infused with some herbs, garlic or red pepper for extra flavor
balsamic vinegar
8 leaves fresh basil (if oil is not infused)
salt and pepper

If using basil, cut into a chiffonade and place a pinch of the basil into each pepper. Stuff each pepper with feta, packing tightly. Drizzle liberally with olive oil and balsamic vinegar, and sprinkle with salt, pepper, and any remaining basil. Refrigerate for at least 1 hour to allow flavors to meld. Skewer each pepper and either place on top rack of a grill away from direct flame, with uncut sides of peppers down, or place on a rimmed baking sheet and broil in a hot oven until the cheese browns and the peppers have just started to soften. Be careful when removing the peppers from the grill or oven, as the filling will want to fall out. (If it does, just discreetly stuff it back in. Nobody will notice.) Serve warm.

...

I've decided that when I get my bonus in December, I need to do something big with it. Option #1 is a major trip somewhere outside the U.S. where I can get away from it all for awhile. Suggestions on locale are welcome...right now, I am considering exotic places like Italy, France, New Zealand, Tahiti, Barbados, etc. Ideally it should be somewhere that the weather will be lovely in January or February when I can afford to go. Honestly, my biggest concern is that none of my friends will be willing to go with me because of either financial restraints, lack of interest in traveling to where I want to go, or fear of flying. I've been trying to explain to people recently that traveling alone as a single girl is just way dicier than as a guy. My friend who went to France last year by herself and got mugged 3 times in the span of a two week trip, including having her wallet stolen on the very first day she arrived in Paris, is a classic example. She hung in there, got money wired by her parents, and made the best of it, but I would probably be so dejected at that point that I'd just want to turn around and come home. I travel alone all the time for work, but that's different--I never GO anywhere or see anything, I just go from airport to hotel to deposition back to airport. But if I'm traveling abroad, I really don't want to be alone. There should be a place where you can find travel partners for things like this who aren't shady or annoying. (Feel free to also volunteer to be my travel partner in the comments, although I won't be fronting your costs if you do...)

...

On the mini-vacation front, I need to go visit a friend in New Orleans for some weekend in August, and I am also probably going back to Biloxi for the poker tournament around Labor Day. This was a total bust last year, but a friend is also going that same week for other reasons and asked me to join her, plus they have lowered the buy-ins considerably from last year. I wonder if that's the effect of the economy? At any rate, I never have the time or desire to play poker in my Thursday night game anymore, so in order to get some practice with live play I am probably going to have to start playing bar tourneys a few times a week. Suggestions for good places in Atlanta with bar tourneys that start at 9pm (not 8, which I can never make it to) are welcome. I used to play at the Brewhouse but apparently new folks are running it so it may suck now.

...

Local politics is depressing the hell out of me. I seriously don't like any of the candidates on either side of the aisle who ran for Governor of Georgia, and I will probably write in my friend Page in November. (It's a thing, we write in Page when we don't know who to vote for.) I waver between resolving not to give a shit because it's too upsetting to pay attention to, and resolving to make my own change by working to revamp the Democratic party in this state into something effective and inspiring again. Y'know, with all that free time I have.

...

So it's late July, and I resolved in March to maybe run a half marathon this year, and yet I haven't even been able to string together 13 miles on the treadmill across one whole week since that promise, let alone actually starting to train for it. I keep waiting for things at work to get less hectic so I can get home at a normal hour and have the energy and time to recommit, but it just hasn't happened. I wish I didn't have to choose between getting in shape physically and getting my career in order. But doing both at the same time has proven nearly impossible.

...

I'm getting ridiculously excited about FSU football this year, even though Vegas has apparently only pegged us to win 8 games. Still, this is one of those years that has the potential to be really special--not national championship special (despite what Tim Brando apparently predicted), but a better year than we have seen in recent memory. I think we could conceivably run the table in the ACC, which would be great if we didn't also have the incredibly difficult non-conference schedule of Oklahoma, BYU and Florida to deal with. Still, the most frustrating thing about FSU's decline this decade has been our tendency to let mediocre ACC teams beat us, and the first step to returning to former glory is to stop letting that happen and start kicking conference asses again.

...

I think that's all I got for now. Whew, I was storing up a lot of random junk!

The Great Infused Liquor Experiment

Back in March, on a whim I purchased some old-fashioned bottles a bit like the one pictured above while shopping at the Container Store. I had gotten the idea last fall from my friend The Frugal Hostess about the possibility of making your own cordials, and figured these bottles might be a nice start towards infusing my own liquor. Then in late May I was cajoled into planning two parties two weeks apart, and I decided that my "gimmick" for these parties would be the attempt at liquor infusions.

One night in May, I scared an entire liquor store with my plentiful alcohol purchases, including several massive bottles of vodka (I went with Skyy because it is a decent vodka but not terribly expensive) and one massive bottle of bourbon (Maker's Mark, because the store was out of Knob Creek. I don't like Maker's as much but it ended up not making a difference to the end result.). I had only the roughest idea of what I was going to infuse into each, but figured that going with the fruits that were in season this time of year was a good start. I did some reading and discovered that fruits that are particularly juicy tend to do best in the infusions. And then I ultimately decided to kind of wing it.

I ended up making the following four infusions (giving you the recipes, infusion times, and end results for each):

1. Blueberry-Lemon Vodka: Blueberries look really beautiful in the bottle, but man are they a pain in the butt to prepare for infusion. The key for whatever fruit you are infusing is to either mash it or poke holes in it so that the liquor marinates with the juices and produces both a nice color and flavor. For my first pint of blueberries, this meant poking every single one with a toothpick several times before adding them to the bottle. I used about half a pint of blueberries for this project. I also cut several lemons up very thinly sliced so that they would fit through the opening of the bottle, because I had not yet realized this project would be done much more easily with massive Mason jars. I added approximately two cut lemons to the bottle along with the blueberries, and filled to the very top with vodka.

I kept this chilled in my wine chiller, which kept it cool but not super cold, and I took out the bottle and shook it every couple days. I also changed out the fruit after about 10 days, straining the vodka through a colander and painstakingly pulling out all those blueberries and lemon slices through the small bottle opening. If I had it to do all over again, I'd use the Mason jar from the start.

For the second batch of fruit that I added, rather than poking all those blueberries again I just mashed them up in a bowl and added them with the juice to the bottle. I also zested one lemon into the bottle to really kick up the lemon flavor. It wasn't as delicately pretty as the first batch, but it was more effective. The liquor got nicely purple by the end of 20 days. Because I needed to rush this one to completion for the party, I ended up straining the liquor through a cheesecloth to remove sediment and bits of lemon peel. I then made a lemon simple syrup to add to the bottle to cut some of the tartness of the vodka that remained.

This was delicious, but I think it would have benefitted from another week of infusion (4 weeks total) with new fruit every 7 days rather than every 10 days, which hopefully would have allowed us to avoid the need for the simple syrup. The end result, however, was a beautiful purple liquor. I will definitely make this concoction again.

2. Cantaloupe-Kiwi Vodka: I had heard from a friend about a delicious cantaloupe-cucumber infusion she had at a restaurant in D.C., but I wanted to avoid using cucumber because I knew some people would not like it. Since kiwi has a nice clean flavor as a fruit, I decided to substitute it. I used a large Mason jar for this one because the fruit was much larger than the blueberries and lemon slices, and it was a smart choice. I bought pre-cut cantaloupe in a container from Whole Foods, approximately 2 cups, and also peeled and sliced 4 kiwi fruit. I added this to the jar and filled to the brim with vodka.

Like with the blueberry-lemon, I kept the jar in the wine chiller and shook occasionally to help the infusion work. I also changed out the fruit after 1 week and then after another 5 days. On the day of the party, I poured through a colander to catch the fruit, strained once through relatively thin cheesecloth to get any bits of fruit, and then poured it into a fancy pretty glass bottle to chill until ice cold (which really helps the vodka go down smooth). Luckily, these fruits don't leave any real sediment or bits in the vodka (other than the occasional kiwi seed), so this was probably the easiest one to prepare. This infusion was completed in only about 18 days, but was absolutely perfect. The natural juiciness of the cantaloupe and kiwis really lent themselves well to infusion, and this was the hit of the party. I will definitely make this again, because it was ridiculously easy and so successful.

3. Peach-Cinnamon Bourbon: This was probably my most ambitious infusion, and at first I didn't think it was going to work. I vastly underestimated how many peaches I would need relative to the amount of bourbon I had (a 750 bottle), and after a week of infusion in the Mason Jar this still tasted like slightly sweeter Maker's Mark (which as I said above I don't even really like.) I became concerned, and decided to add cinnamon and a shitload more peaches the next time, and also realized a 4 week infusion would like be necessary for this one. I bought a bag of peaches that I let ripen before I cut them into big chunks and put in the bourbon for another week, and also chilled this one in the refrigerator rather than the wine chiller because the peaches had seemed to break down more quickly in the less cold environment. I stopped peeling the peaches to save time, but it ultimately made no discernable difference.

After just one week of that many more peaches and the addition of the cinnamon, this was starting to taste great. But after I changed the fruit yet again, this went from great to insanely delicious. Ultimately I had 4 full weeks of infusion with 4 separate batches of peaches, and by the time this was done it tasted according to my July 4th party guests like a dessert sauce rather than a liquor. The peach flavor completely covered up the bite of the liquor and this was dangerously drinkable in mass quantities. I will definitely make this one again, and I think it was probably the best one of all 4 batches I attempted. The key is simply to use ripe peaches, and a lot of them.

One challenge with this infusion was that it was quite thick and did not want to pour through the cheesecloth despite needing to strain the cinnamon out. It took a long time, and so when I make this again I will use cinnamon sticks rather than what I had in the pantry (ground cinnamon) to hopefully avoid that step and be able to use a thinner cheesecloth. I am about to make batches 2 and 3 of this for friends' birthday parties, and cannot wait to have it again.

4. Pomegranate vodka: This was the only disappointment of the 4 batches, which really surprised me because it was the one I started first. I bought a package of pre-cleaned pomegranate arils and added them to one of my fancy old-fashioned bottles that I then filled to the top with vodka. It turned a lovely shade of red almost immediately, but the color that was imparted did not translate into flavor. I ended up changing out the arils every single week for 4 weeks, until the color saturation was super-intense. However, perhaps because of the tart flavor of pomegranate generally, the vodka's alcohol bite remained even after all that infusing.

The end result was a liquor that would be good in cocktails--a pomegranate cosmo, perhaps--but was not really as good to drink on its own because it was not easy to shoot. I was left with over half the bottle at the end of my second party. (It has since been consumed, but only because if you bring a bottle of cold pink liquor to a bunch of drunk people at a pool, they'll drink just about anything.) I'm not sure there is anything I should have done differently, and I even tried to save it with some more simple syrup and sweetened lime juice. I think this is just one infusion that simply does not work.

So, for my next trick I want to attempt some sort of cherry infusion (probably vodka) and will also be open to suggestions for late summer and fall fruits. Anything you think I absolutely need to try? Hit me with a suggestion in the comments and I might give it a shot.

The hardest part about infsuing is having the patience to wait it out, since 4 weeks is a really long time to have a big jar of bourbon or vodka staring at you from the freezer. But trust me, it will be worth it when it's done. This would also make an excellent Christmas gift, although for the summer fruits you will likely need to have the willpower to make the liquor when the fruit is in season and then not drink it for the next 5 months until you can give the gifts away. I am considering attempting that, though odds are not good all the gifts will arrive at their ultimate destinations. :)

(From L to R, the pomegranate infusion, the cantaloupe-kiwi infusion, and the blueberry-lemon infusion in process. I think the peach bourbon was sitting in a bowl in the sink waiting for another batch of peaches to be added when I took this.)

Jukebox Wars

For the last month or so, ATL Malcontent has been counting down the 10 most annoying songs ever. So far, his list includes:

#10: Bush--Glycerine

#9: John Denver--Thank God I'm a Country Boy

#8: Darryl Worley--Have You Forgotten?

#7: Genesis--Tonight, Tonight, Tonight

#6: The Rembrandts--I'll Be There For You (aka the theme from "Friends")

#5: Soundgarden--Black Hole Sun

#4: Five for Fighting--100 Years

#3: Hootie and the Blowfish--Only Wanna Be With You

#2: Kenny Loggins--(Highway to the) Danger Zone

#1: R. Kelly--I Believe I Can Fly

I can't really disagree with any of the choices on the list, though I do generally like Soundgarden and also find Danger Zone to be hilarious in its awfulness. But then, I tend to find really awful music pretty funny overall.

Reading this list reminded me of an old bar trick some friends and I used to engage in about a year ago (maybe longer...the days in bars all blend together.) We never gave it a name, but I hereby christen it Jukebox Wars. I was talking about this just this past Friday night, after some friends were deliberately playing awful music in a nearly-empty Diesel, which was led off with the hilariously bad "Into the Night" by Benny Mardones. (Any song that begins with "She's just 16 years old / leave her alone they say" is gonna be uncomfortably awful by definition!)

Jukebox Wars started when the bartenders at Moe's and Joe's were bored and annoyed one Saturday night and started deliberately playing bad music in the hope of annoying patrons. They took turns seeing how bad they could make the songs, which as I drunkenly recall included the Spice Girls, New Kids on the Block, Chumbawumba, and that "Who Let the Dogs Out" song. Undaunted, my friends and I began doing battle to top their selections. For whatever $5 will buy in terms of download credits on the jukebox, we would pick our slate of the worst songs in the world. We quickly discovered that our lists were largely generational--the bartenders' songs were heavily from the 90's, mine were largely from the late 70's or 80's, and others' were from the 60's or 70's. Many of those in that last category I had never heard before, so I didn't have the same negative visceral reaction that others in the bar often did (such as when I was beaten with the selection "Season in the Sun." Dammit.)

I can't remember all 10 of the terrible songs I played, but I can remember most. They included Dan Hill's "Sometimes When We Touch," Vanilla Ice's "Ice Ice Baby," Taylor Dayne's "Love Will Lead You Back," Starship's "Sara" (a personal most-hated song for reasons I have described elsewhere...if you play it for me I will punch you in the throat), Alabama's "When We Make Love," and that goddamned "Breakfast at Tiffany's" song that makes me want to gouge out eyeballs. Just pulling together those links has made me think I should have won this damn battle...that's how bad those songs are! But alas, based upon the votes of others in the bar, I was defeated by even worse songs.

I also can't remember all the terrible songs that the person who beat me played, but I do remember some of the submissions of others included Muskrat Love, We Built This City, the Pina Colada song (which I unabashedly love), and Baby I'm a Want You.

The one song that both I and my competitor wanted to include, but couldn't because it was not available for download on that jukebox, was Convoy. This is quite simply the worst song of all time--listen and see for yourself! If ATL Malcontent doesn't make this #1 on his list I will be so disappointed.

So, this makes me wonder...what are your all-time top 10 worst songs ever? Feel free to leave a list in the comments. (Nothing that I have listed here is off-limits simply because I included it.)

I didn't forget about you

Since May 1st, I have been busting my ass to get a major brief done, also while flying all over the country for work and play. I've been to Vegas, Naples, and San Francisco...all the while working late hours even from hotel rooms to get this brief done. It's due June 1st, so I should hopefully be back a little more semi-regularly after that's done.

Yep.

This is me.

A Threat or a Promise? McBerry's Libel Claims

Recently the word "libel" has been thrown around a lot in the Georgia blogosophere in connection with one fringe gubernatorial candidate who allegedly had a past predilection for the young ladies. Very young ladies.

Ray McBerry was a teacher in the late 1990's when he got to know a student at his school fairly well. She moved on to a different high school, and to hear her and her parents tell it, she began a romantic relationship with McBerry that led to him leaving teaching and having a judge order him to stay away from the girl. To hear him tell it, he was just counseling the girl after her parents made her end an interracial relationship, and her parents got the wrong idea and now they are all defaming* him all over Georgia.

Meanwhile, a few weeks before the girl and her parents' story hit the pages of "respectable" media, the SWGA Politics blog threw its skirt over its head and called McBerry a child molester. When informed that the law in Georgia does not apply to victims over the age of 16, and that this girl was 16 when the alleged sexual contact began, the blogger in question basically said he didn't care because McBerry was a teacher and teacher-student sex is still some form of crime, even if not meeting the legal elements of child molestation. (Side note: it's unclear whether this is even accurate, since the girl claimed the sexual contact only occurred once McBerry was no longer her teacher, as she had moved to a different school.)

McBerry threw a hissy fit of his own the other day, and started making threats of litigation against online outlets and individuals. Some wondered if one target for a libel suit might be SWGA Politics itself. But despite all his bluster, I would bet a cool Benjamin that McBerry never files any sort of defamation lawsuit against anyone. Why?

1) Defamation suits are expensive, time-consuming, and generally not taken on contingency by the attorneys who file them. This means McBerry would probably have to pay a lawyer by the hour to file the lawsuit, unless he intended to proceed pro se (in which case he might as well not even bother). McBerry hasn't exactly been lighting up the fundraising in his gubernatorial race, and I don't think he's rolling in the dough personally either. Even litigating on the cheap is likely to cost upwards of $25K to take such a case to trial, which brings us to the next problem...

2) The targets of such a suit, for the most part, are judgment-proof or close to it. What assets do either the girl and her family, or the proprietors of SWGA Politics, really have to satisfy any judgment rendered against them? Lawyers are especially wary of taking such cases on contingency when they strongly suspect at most their clients will obtain a moral victory, but no real cash. Why spend $25K to win an apology and a judgment that allows you to garnish someone's wages until the end of time? Now, any media outlets that report the allegedly defamatory statements could also be sued, and would not be judgment proof by any means, but the standards for a libel suit against a newspaper are higher and they have more defenses. They also have more and better lawyers who have defended cases like this before. Does McBerry want to take on the AJC and the big firms that represent it? I doubt it.

3) Truth is a defense in defamation cases. I make no allegations about McBerry's veracity or the propriety of his past behavior. (See, I know how to stay on the good side of the defamation line!) But if the girl and her family have evidence to support their allegations, which it sounds like they might based upon the apology letter they have already produced, then they could defeat any defamation action simply by showing that McBerry really did the things they claimed he did. Even if they don't have evidence, if a jury were to determine that the girl and her parents were telling the truth, McBerry would lose. And on the way to presenting evidence of truth or falsity to a jury, the parties would have to engage in embarassing discovery in the form of depositions of those McBerry or the girl talked to about their relationship, people who may have found them in compromising positions, etc. Not exactly the sort of character evidence an aspiring politician wants to see put down on the public record, even if he did eventually prevail at trial.

4) Potentially, McBerry would have to show "actual malice"--knowledge the story is false, or reckless disregard for its truth or falsity--in order to prevail. There is little law out there on the question of whether blogs enjoy the same first amendment protections as "traditional press" like newspapers in defamation cases, so this one is sort of a guess. The Supreme Court famously ruled in New York Times v. Sullivan that in order for a newspaper to have libeled a public figure, it must have shown actual malice--meaning either the newspaper knew a published statement was untrue or showed a reckless disregard for its truth or falsity. McBerry is arguably a public figure by virtue of qualifying as a candidate for Governor. The question is whether the blogs that published this story showed reckless disregard for the truth of the story or knew it was false. Now, as discussed briefly above, if the story is true then McBerry has no case. And if the bloggers who published the allegedly defamatory statements are protected by Sullivan to the same extent the AJC and other traditional media outlets are protected, then McBerry would need to prove that they showed a willful disregard for the truth of this story, which is a high burden and highly subjective because it relies upon the knowledge and intentions of the publisher of the libel.

I could write an entire series of posts on whether Sullivan applies to bloggers, and whether it should, but that is a post for another day when I have more free time. For now, if we assume it applies, then it makes a tough case to prove nearly impossible.

And that, my 3 readers, is why Ray McBerry's threats to sue will never be more than threats.

* I prefer to use the term "defamation" to cover both libel and slander, because people often erroneously use the two terms interchangeably and having one term that covers both is less confusing. Generally speaking, libel is written while slander is spoken, though the expanding definition of publication has led to libel also governing internet postings and TV/radio broadcasts. In the instant situation, the news stories containing the statements of the girl and parents about McBerry would be governed by libel laws, while the girl and her parents' actual spoken statements about McBerry would be governed by slander laws. However, because this gets confusing in a situation where slander is published in a potentially libelous news story, I'll just use defamation for both. The only real differences are that libel requires "publication" of the defamatory statement, slander requires actual damage to reputation through the spoken defamation, and there are some libel protections for press reports involving public figures as described above.